9 And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “ Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.[This guy must have a short memory! This command is no different from the one he just gave a few verses ago]
2 The fear of you and the terror of you will be on every beast of the earth and on every bird of the sky; with everything that creeps on the ground, and all the fish of the sea, into your hand they are given[If you believe this, try it with a shark and tell us the story].
3 Every moving thing that is alive shall be food for you[as we shall see in future, this guy will change his mind on what we shall or shall not eat!]; I give all to you, as I gave the green plant. 4 Only you shall not eat flesh with its life, that is, its blood. 5 Surely I will require your lifeblood; from every beast I will require it. And from every man, from every man’s brother I will require the life of man[for what would you require the life of everything?].
6 “ Whoever sheds man’s blood,
By man his blood shall be shed[ is this not preaching revenge?],
For in the image of God
He made man[who is talking here?].
7 “As for you, be fruitful and multiply;
Populate the earth abundantly and multiply in it.”[Enough said]
8 Then God spoke to Noah and to his sons with him[This was a good time, I mean he comes to speak to the whole family], saying, 9 “Now behold, I Myself do establish My covenant with you, and with your descendants after you; 10 and with every living creature that is with you, the birds, the cattle, and every beast of the earth with you; of all that comes out of the ark, even every beast of the earth[why then would someone say man is special if this covenant includes worms?]. 11 I establish My covenant with you; and all flesh shall never again be cut off by the water of the flood, neither shall there again be a flood to destroy the earth.” 12 God said, “This is the sign of the covenant which I am making between Me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all successive generations; 13 I set My bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a sign of a covenant between Me and the earth. 14 It shall come about, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow will be seen in the cloud[we now know the rainbow is as a result of refraction of light and can only be seen at a specific angle], 15 and I will remember My covenant, which is between Me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and never again shall the water become a flood to destroy all flesh[last year, floods killed people in Pakistan and Kisumu, did he just forget this covenant?].
16 When the bow is in the cloud, then I will look upon it, to remember[in this case, I think this guy has a defective memory! Why would an omniscient being need something to remind him/she?] the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” 17 And God said to Noah, “This is the sign of the covenant which I have established between Me and all flesh that is on the earth[seriously!].”
18 Now the sons of Noah who came out of the ark were Shem and Ham and Japheth[did he have other sons who didn’t make it out?]; and Ham was the father of Canaan. 19 These three were the sons of Noah, and from these the whole earth was populated[the reason we are all brothers and sisters, get off that high stool and accept this].
20 Then Noah began farming and planted a vineyard. 21 He drank of the wine and became drunk[alcohol is good for you], and uncovered himself inside his tent. 22 Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. 23 But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were turned away, so that they did not see their father’s nakedness. 24 When Noah awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him[who told him?].
25 So he said,
“ Cursed be Canaan[question is, did the son make him drunk? why curse him and generations after?];
A servant of servants[is this not establishing slavery?]
He shall be to his brothers.”
26 He also said,
“ Blessed be the Lord,
The God of Shem;
And let Canaan be his servant.
27 “ May God enlarge Japheth,
And let him dwell in the tents of Shem;
And let Canaan be his servant.”[Make your own conclusions]
28 Noah lived three hundred and fifty years after the flood. 29 So all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years, and he died.[I want to live to be 200]