Isaac Settles in Gerar
Friends, here again we are presented with an incredible story of our fictitious character Isaac. As I had said in the previous chapter, this fellow is useless and like his father, pimps his wife in the pretext she is beautiful and he maybe killed for it. Now before you start hurling stones in my direction, why would the story of Ike be similar to that Abe from the point of meeting Abimelech unless it is the work of a fabricator trying to give a character flesh and failing badly!
26 Now there was a famine in the land, besides the previous famine that had occurred in the days of Abraham. So Isaac went to Gerar, to Abimelech [I need help here, how old was this guy when he became king? Abe pimped his wife/sister and is dead and burried and now 40+ old Isaac has paid him a visit too] king of the Philistines. 2 The Lord appeared to him[Isaac] and said, “Do not go down to Egypt [I guess the Pharaoh wouldn’t have welcomed them knowing they are progeny of old Abe the pimp]; stay in the land of which I shall tell you. 3 Sojourn in this land and I will be with you and bless you, for to you and to your descendants I will give all these lands, and I will establish the oath which I swore to your father Abraham. 4 I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven, and will give your descendants all these lands; and by your descendants all the nations of the earth shall be blessed; 5 because Abraham obeyed Me and kept My charge, My commandments, My statutes and My laws [If anyone has an inkling to what these statutes, laws and commandments are, please share your notes, I mean we are all learning something, aren’t we?].”
6 So Isaac lived in Gerar. 7 When the men of the place asked about his wife, he said, “She is my sister/cousin,” for he was afraid to say, “my wife,” thinking, “the men of the place might kill [do people kill so easily? Were the men here so barbaric they would kill a man for having a wife! C’mon, give us something better!] me on account of Rebekah, for she is beautiful.” 8 It came about, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out through a window[he must have been on 2nd floor balcony with blinds drawn before], and saw, and behold, Isaac was caressing his wife Rebekah [must have been a case of public display of affection, cuddling in the park I guess]. 9 Then Abimelech called Isaac and said, “Behold, certainly she is your wife! How then did you say, ‘She is my sister’?” And Isaac said to him, “Because I said, ‘I might die on account of her.’” 10 Abimelech said, “What is this you have done to us? One of the people might easily have lain with your wife [is it that easy? there’s no consent required?], and you would have brought guilt upon us.” 11 So Abimelech charged all the people, saying, “He who touches this man or his wife shall surely be put to death [There are two possibilities here, that either the scribe has taken the story of Abe and inserted Ike and Rebekah in place of Abe/ Sarah or this family is so alike in mannerisms or lack thereof!].”
12 Now Isaac sowed in that land and reaped in the same year a hundredfold. And the Lord blessed him, 13 and the man became rich, and continued to grow richer until he became very wealthy; 14 for he had possessions of flocks and herds and a great household, so that the Philistines envied him [Please tell me, how are the Philistines doing it wrong such that their land ain’t producing as much? Or is Abe’s god interfering in human affairs for selfish reasons?] . 15 Now all the wells which his father’s servants had dug in the days of Abraham his father, the Philistines stopped up by filling them with earth [why would anyone be filling up wells in an otherwise arid country? Somethings just don’t make sense]. 16 Then Abimelech said to Isaac, “Go away from us, for you are too powerful for us.” 17 And Isaac departed from there and camped in the valley of Gerar, and settled there [ think about it rationally just for once, yes just once, at the begining we are told Abimelech is king, so he must have some standing army and a territory, how then could a single family be so powerful for a king that he couldn’t throw them into some goulag?].
Quarrel over the Wells
18 Then Isaac dug again the wells of water which had been dug in the days of his father Abraham, for the Philistines had stopped them up after the death of Abraham; and he gave them the same names which his father had given them
. 19 But when Isaac’s servants dug in the valley and found there a well of flowing water, 20 the herdsmen of Gerar quarreled with the herdsmen of Isaac, saying, “The water is ours!” So he named the well Esek, because they contended with him. 21 Then they dug another well, and they quarreled over it too, so he named it Sitnah. 22 He moved away from there and dug another well, and they did not quarrel over it; so he named it Rehoboth, for he said, “At last the Lord has made room for us, and we will be fruitful in the land [what i don’t follow her; he digs the wells and gives them the same names his daddy had given but we are still told he gave them other names. That aside, nowhere have I seen people filling up wells, I have heard of conflicts on available resources but not once have I heard a group of people, living in a desert for that matter fill up wells].”
23 Then he went up from there to Beersheba [you remember this place don’t you? Hagar roams here and Abe gives it a name later when it already has one]. 24 The Lord appeared to him the same night and said,
“I am the God of your father Abraham;
Do not fear, for I am with you.
I will bless you, and multiply your descendants,
For the sake of My servant Abraham [ For the last time, I insist and if anyone has dissenting opinion, that anyone who worships the Abrahamic god is deluded. He is Abe’s personal god and it’s even evident in his interactions with others. He says he is the god of Abe not the person’s god!].”
25 So he built an altar there and called upon the name of the Lord, and pitched his tent there; and there Isaac’s servants dug a well.
Covenant with Abimelech
26 Then Abimelech came to him from Gerar with his adviser Ahuzzath and Phicol the commander of his army. 27 Isaac said to them, “Why have you come to me, since you hate me and have sent me away from you?” 28 They said, “We see plainly that the Lord has been with you; so we said, ‘Let there now be an oath between us, even between you and us, and let us make a covenant with you, 29 that you will do us no harm, just as we have not touched you and have done to you nothing but good and have sent you away in peace. You are now the blessed of the Lord.’” 30 Then he made them a feast, and they ate and drank. 31 In the morning they arose early and exchanged oaths; then Isaac sent them away and they departed from him in peace. 32 Now it came about on the same day, that Isaac’s servants came in and told him about the well which they had dug, and said to him, “We have found water.” 33 So he called it Shibah; therefore the name of the city is Beersheba to this day[ this is the story of Abe, so nuff said].
34 When Esau was forty years old he married Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Basemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite; 35 and they brought grief to Isaac and Rebekah[This last verse doesn’t fit unless it is to take Ike out of the picture!].