On God

Something is wrong.  War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, crime, torture, corruption and the ice capades.  If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed.  This is not what you expect to find on the resume of a supreme being.  It’s what you expect from an office temp with a bad attitude.

George Carlin

On prayer

What’s the point of fucking praying in the first place?  If God has a divine plan, what’s the point of praying?  If what you want is in the divine plan, you will get it anyways… and if it’s not, you won’t get it because it’s not in the divine plan.

George Carlin