37 Now Jacob lived in the land where his father had sojourned, in the land of Canaan. 2 These are the records of the generations of Jacob [ As we shall see it ain’t a pleasant record].
Joseph, when seventeen years of age, was pasturing the flock with his brothers while he was still a youth, along with the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father’s wives. And Joseph brought back a bad report about them to their father. 3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his sons, because he was the son of his old age [ I thought Benjamin was the true son of his old age ?]; and he made him a varicolored tunic [Israel must be a good tailor at 100 plus years of age]. 4 His brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers; and so they hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms.
5 Then Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more [for the life of me, why should you hate someone for dreaming? The scribes of the bible are writing to an audience that believe in dreams,not to the 21st Century man so can’t we just move on?] . 6 He said to them, “Please listen to this dream which I have had; 7 for behold, we were binding sheaves in the field, and lo, my sheaf rose up and also stood erect; and behold, your sheaves gathered around and bowed down to my sheaf.” 8 Then his brothers said to him, “Are you actually going to reign over us [This is stretching dreams, since the brothers are older than him, they should just dismiss the dreams as wishful thinking!]? Or are you really going to rule over us?” So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words [I think the brothers ought to be punished for being irrational, nothing else].
9 Now he had still another dream, and related it to his brothers, and said, “Lo, I have had still another dream; and behold, the sun and the moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me [now this is what we really call delusion. why eleven stars and how would the sun bow?].” 10 He related it to his father and to his brothers [has his father joined them in the field where they are grazing or the brothers have returned from the field? I don’t know]; and his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have had? Shall I and your mother and your brothers actually come to bow ourselves down before you to the ground [I thought the octogenarian would know better? Is he also as unreasonable as his progeny? Anyone can dream about anything or is it only Jose who dreams in this family?]?” 11 His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying in mind.
12 Then his brothers went to pasture their father’s flock in Shechem. 13 Israel said to Joseph, “Are not your brothers pasturing the flock in Shechem? Come, and I will send you to them.” And he said to him, “I will go [Why didn’t he go with his brothers? I think we are being set up].” 14 Then he said to him, “Go now and see about the welfare of your brothers and the welfare of the flock, and bring word back to me.” So he sent him from the valley of Hebron, and he came to Shechem.
15 A man found him, and behold, he was wandering in the field [how convenient? Where did the man come from? How far away from home are his brothers pasturing the flock, come on!]; and the man asked him, “What are you looking for?” 16 He said, “I am looking for my brothers; please tell me where they are pasturing the flock.” 17 Then the man said, “They have moved from here; for I heard them say, ‘Let us go to Dothan.’” So Joseph went after his brothers and found them at Dothan [just pause a while, who is this man? How does he know his brothers? Are they the only ones pasturing out in the wild? I will tell you something, this to me looks like a reworking of the other stories where members of the family meat damsels at wells or something of that kind].
The Plot against Joseph
18 When they saw him from a distance and before he came close to them, they plotted against him to put him to death. 19 They said to one another, “Here comes this dreamer![ Do you kill a person for dreaming? Is there a threat on division of resources when the old man eventually quits?] 20 Now then, come and let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits; and we will say, ‘A wild beast devoured him.’ Then let us see what will become of his dreams! [No way! There are 11 brothers, I don’t see how all of them could have beef with one Jose?]” 21 But Reuben heard this and rescued him out of their hands and said, “Let us not take his life.” 22 Reuben further said to them, “Shed no blood. Throw him into this pit that is in the wilderness, but do not lay hands on him”—that he might rescue him out of their hands, to restore him to his father. 23 So it came about, when Joseph reached his brothers, that they stripped Joseph of his tunic, the varicolored tunic that was on him; 24 and they took him and threw him into the pit. Now the pit was empty, without any water in it [If there is a dissenting voice, I don’t see how they would continue with the plot? They would have to kill Reuben too? The scribes should have tried just a little harder to make this plausible, don’t you think so?].
25 Then they sat down to eat a meal. And as they raised their eyes and looked, behold, a caravan of Ishmaelites [remember Ishmael, the son of Hagar and Abe? These must be his people] was coming from Gilead, with their camels bearing aromatic gum and balm and myrrh, on their way to bring them down to Egypt [how did they see all these if the merchants haven’t arrived? Do they have telescopic and x-ray vision?]. 26 Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is it for us to kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come and let us sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.” And his brothers listened to him. 28 Then some Midianite traders passed by, so they pulled him up and lifted Joseph out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. Thus they brought Joseph into Egypt[ wait a minute, they had thrown the lad into the well. How deep was this well? The brother might have a fracture or even worse could have died from the fall. How are they going to bring him up and will he accept knowing they almost killed him? And if someone can get into the well without help, then he can get out without their help!].
29 Now Reuben returned to the pit, and behold, Joseph was not in the pit; so he tore his garments [why is Reuben always a step behind his brothers?]. 30 He returned to his brothers and said, “The boy is not there; as for me, where am I to go?” 31 So they took Joseph’s tunic, and slaughtered a male goat and dipped the tunic in the blood; 32 and they sent the varicolored tunic and brought it to their father and said, “We found this; please examine it to see whether it is your son’s tunic or not.” 33 Then he examined it and said, “It is my son’s tunic. A wild beast has devoured him; Joseph has surely been torn to pieces! [where is Reuben when we need him? Why doesn’t he tell his parents what has transpired? Are the scribes forcing us to believe a particular impossible story?]” 34 So Jacob tore his clothes, and put sackcloth on his loins and mourned for his son many days. 35 Then all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. And he said, “Surely I will go down to Sheol in mourning for my son.” So his father wept for him. 36 Meanwhile, the Midianites[Midianites or Ishmaelites? Am kinda confused here] sold him in Egypt to Potiphar, Pharaoh’s officer, the captain of the bodyguard.