Judah and Tamar
38 And it came about at that time, that Judah departed from his brothers and visited a certain Adullamite, whose name was Hirah. 2 Judah saw there a daughter of a certain Canaanite whose name was Shua; and he took her and went in to her[I want to know if such places still exist, I mean seriously where do you see a woman, make her your wife and then make her pregnant without any rites unless it is a very misogynistic society?] . 3 So she conceived and bore a son and he named him Er. 4 Then she conceived again and bore a son and named him Onan. 5 She bore still another son and named him Shelah; and it was at Chezib that she bore him[ on a side note, which is the correct version? Was she also at Chezib?].
6 Now Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar[This Er character may as well be an imaginary character. We know nothing of him except that he is born, married and dies childless]. 7 But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was evil in the sight of the Lord, so the Lord took his life[For a moment I thought this god had stopped senseless murders, he is at it again]. 8 Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” 9 Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. 10 But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also[no seriously, the boy doesn’t want more kids in the ghetto why kill him for controlling population growth the only way he knew how?]. 11 Then Judah said to his daughter-in-law Tamar, “Remain a widow in your father’s house until my son Shelah grows up”; for he thought, “I am afraid that he too may die like his brothers[ pause a minute, Tamar ain’t growing old? And don’t this sons have a choice on who to marry? This Judah dude is autocratic! And why isn’t Tamar not being consulted on whether she wants to keep sleeping with her brothers-in law?].” So Tamar went and lived in her father’s house.
12 Now after a considerable time Shua’s daughter, the wife of Judah[she doesn’t have a name? just asking? Remember what I told you when we began, anytime a woman has been given a name, we are being set up for something, usually not a very good thing though], died; and when the time of mourning was ended, Judah went up to his sheep shearers at Timnah, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. 13 It was told to Tamar, “Behold, your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep.” 14 So she removed her widow’s garments and covered herself with a veil, and wrapped herself, and sat in the gateway of Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah; for she saw that Shelah had grown up, and she had not been given to him as a wife[the scribes could do better! This is just so lame and poor character development. It should at least be made plausible unless their intended audience was dimwitted!]. 15 When Judah saw her, he thought she was a harlot, for she had covered her face. 16 So he turned aside to her by the road, and said, “Here now, let me come in to you[Judah must be a regular at some red-light district or how would explain his manner here?]”; for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. And she said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” 17 He said, therefore, “I will send you a young goat from the flock.” She said, moreover, “Will you give a pledge until you send it?” 18 He said, “What pledge shall I give you?” And she said, “Your seal and your cord, and your staff that is in your hand.” So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him. 19 Then she arose and departed, and removed her veil and put on her widow’s garments[Please, even if she is wearing disguise, is he as well deaf? And when she is naked, he couldn’t tell she was his daughter in law? I can’t buy it! That aside, the thing she is asking for such as the signet [i don’t know whether any were made by this time] would be a symbol of power and he could have been very reluctant to part with them. How depraved was he that he could set himself up for blackmail so easily?].
20 When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite, to receive the pledge from the woman’s hand, he did not find her. 21 He asked the men of her place, saying, “Where is the temple prostitute who was by the road at Enaim?” But they said, “There has been no temple prostitute here.”22 So he returned to Judah, and said, “I did not find her; and furthermore, the men of the place said, ‘There has been no temple prostitute here.’” 23 Then Judah said, “Let her keep them, otherwise we will become a laughingstock. After all, I sent this young goat, but you did not find her[ I refuse to buy this one too! Judah would have to explain his stuff and signet and curiously, how old is he?].”
24 Now it was about three months later that Judah was informed, “Your daughter-in-law Tamar has played the harlot, and behold, she is also with child by harlotry.” Then Judah said, “Bring her out and let her be burned![ I think this must be the origin of stoning adulterers by Muslims that aside, why stone her and not the man by whom she is pregnant? It takes two to tango; so if anyone must die then both should die!]” 25 It was while she was being brought out that she sent to her father-in-law, saying, “I am with child by the man to whom these things belong.” And she said, “Please examine and see, whose signet ring and cords and staff are these[now that is what I call sweet revenge and perfect timing. The English would say, revenge served cold!]?” 26 Judah recognized them, and said, “She is more righteous than I, in as much as I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not have relations with her again[so it happened more than once I guess? And what a quick turn about, Judah trying to save his skin! Am not hearing any apologies].
27 It came about at the time she was giving birth, that behold, there were twins in her womb.28 Moreover, it took place while she was giving birth, one put out a hand, and the midwife took and tied a scarlet thread on his hand, saying, “This one came out first.” 29 But it came about as he drew back his hand, that behold, his brother came out. Then she said, “What a breach you have made for yourself!” So he was named Perez. 30 Afterward his brother came out who had the scarlet thread on his hand; and he was named Zerah.[This is the stuff comedy is made of. I haven’t been present at any birthing but my good readers either doctors or mothers, is what has been described plausible? I need all the help].