Ramblings on Islam

Folks, this week our christian friends are preparing to celebrate a pagan holiday which for them represents the very foundation of their belief and which if the guy existed can only be suicide by centurion. Today we will give them a break, we will be dealing with their cousins,[ who by the way think Christians got it all wrong somewhere] the muslims. They will for this week whenever possible be the brunt of jokes, criticism and anything that can be hurled their way.

To start as off, why do Muslims insist on their women wearing tents? How do they see where they are going to and how do they run in the event they need to?

This is what it means to wear a tent. How do you even know your relative if you were not in the house when she was leaving?

This is what it means to wear a tent. How do you even know your relative if you were not in the house when she was leaving?

and why then not be fair to all. If it is tents, then it should be tents all the way, not this

why this discrimination?

why this discrimination?

I know if any of them come here they will tell me oh the prophet said this or that about dressing. Please I don’t want to hear those lines. The prophet if he existed is dead he can’t be ruling women from the grave.

You are aware there are close to a billion followers of this cult and they all believe the Koran to be the ultimate in literature and it is only koran if it is in Arabic. I don’t care for Arabic and am not interested in knowing and so we can for our purposes use an English translation to just see how marvelous the said book is, shall we?

We will be looking at 2 Al-Baqara [286]

8 And of mankind, there are some (hypocrites) who say: “We believe in Allah and the Last Day” while in fact they believe not.

Tell me this ain’t a vestige from the NT Mathew 7:21

9 They (think to) deceive Allah and those who believe, while they only deceive themselves, and perceive (it) not!

10 In their hearts is a disease (of doubt and hypocrisy) and Allah has increased their disease. A painful torment is theirs because they used to tell lies.

11 And when it is said to them: “Make not mischief on the earth,” they say: “We are only peace-makers.”

12 Verily! They are the ones who make mischief, but they perceive not.

13 And when it is said to them (hypocrites): “Believe as the people (followers of Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, Al-Ansar and Al-Muhajirun) have believed,” they say: “Shall we believe as the fools have believed?” Verily, they are the fools, but they know not.

14 And when they meet those who believe, they say: “We believe,” but when they are alone with their Shayatin (devils – polytheists, hypocrites), they say: “Truly, we are with you; verily, we were but mocking.”

15 Allah mocks at them and gives them increase in their wrong-doing to wander blindly.

Maybe I don’t know good prose, but please tell me where such a composition it can be so-called is glorious? Where is this better than the opening paragraph to a Tale of Two Cities or two any narration in Brothers Karamazov or Lolita?

Then the ultimate challenge

23 And if you (Arab pagans, Jews, and Christians) are in doubt concerning that which We have sent down (i.e. the Qur’an) to Our slave (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم), then produce a Surah (chapter) of the like thereof and call your witnesses (supporters and helpers) besides Allah, if you are truthful.

and then the most able response, by Al Razi[865-925 CE],  I have come across

You claim that the evidentiary miracle is present and available, namely, the Koran. You say: “Whoever denies it, let him produce a similar one.” Indeed, we shall produce a thousand similar, from the works of rhetoricians, eloquent speakers and valiant poets, which are more appropriately phrased and state the issues more succinctly. They convey the meaning better and their rhymed prose is in better meter. ,  By God what you say astonishes us! You are talking about a work which recounts ancient myths, and which at the same time is full of contradictions and does not contain any useful information or explanation. Then you say: “Produce something like it”?!

It gets more ridiculous

31 And He taught Adam all the names (of everything) , then He showed them to the angels and said, “Tell Me the names of these if you are truthful.”

In Genesis Chapter 2, the second creation story, the animals are made to do a match by as Adam names them. How this story is so different, I hope some random muslim will enlighten us.

34 And (remember) when We said to the angels: “Prostrate yourselves before Adam.”. And they prostrated except Iblis (Satan), he refused and was proud and was one of the disbelievers (disobedient to Allah).

Friends, tell me how is this useful information?

And if this is not plagiarism, then for the life of me I don’t know what is

49 And (remember) when We delivered you from Fir’aun’s (Pharaoh) people, who were afflicting you with a horrible torment, killing your sons and sparing your women, and therein was a mighty trial from your Lord.

At least this god doesn’t claim omnipresence. He is a unidirectional god no wonder all heads face Mecca and all asses elsewhere

149 And from wheresoever you start forth (for prayers), turn your face in the direction of Al-Masjid-Al-Haram (at Makkah), that is indeed the truth from your Lord. And Allah is not unaware of what you do.

To be continued, this book doesn’t seem to be ending soon anyway 😀

About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

21 thoughts on “Ramblings on Islam

  1. john zande says:

    “suicide by centurion.” Brilliant line!

    I’m enjoying these Muslim’s posts. Absorbing them.

    Did you see i have a Muslim stalker now? This guy is nuts.


    • makagutu says:

      I haven’t noticed as yet. who is he?


      • john zande says:

        You ready for this: MUHAMMADABDULQASIMMAHMOOD

        His comments are down at the bottom. I was going to call you over as you know this stuff MUCH better than me, but he was pretty easy to counter. Follow the link.



        • makagutu says:

          Just read it. He takes the koran to be holy because it came from god to Mo. The first step then is for him to prove the existence of the supposed god before discussion can continue and if he is going to quote the Koran, then just as any other work of literature nothing special about it.
          Unlike christians, most muslims memorize the koran and can overwhelm with the most stupid of verses. Thanks to the internet you can get the context of the said verse and show him how incoherent and vague they all are.


          • john zande says:

            Well, if he comes back i’ll give you a holler! No time like the present to learn me a new religion 🙂


            • makagutu says:

              Oh yes, there is always an opportunity to learn something new on the vast religions and other interesting stuff around us.


              • john zande says:

                And no better classroom than in rebutting it all! 🙂

                How’s things there? Is there still going to be a legal challenge to the elections?


                • makagutu says:

                  The Supreme court should rule by Saturday. We have been listening to the submissions, the evidence adduced. I think today and tomorrow we will have the defense then the judges will consider the submissions.

                  We are going to do an all points attack on religion, that when we are done with them, there will be little religion in the world and more common sense.


          • Argus says:

            Well … no.

            He (your Islamic) doesn’t have to prove the existence of anything—he already knows.
            Knows enough for him, and all the rest have the opportunity—if they choose to ignore it, inshallah.

            He can’t prove, won’t prove, but does he care? No. Why should he? Why (say) read Shakespeare to a pig?

            Asking for proof from an Islamic is like asking proof from a Jehovah’s Witness, or a mormon; they sit there happily smiling and babbling their ‘one unique’ holy word of God whilst pitying you and trying to alleviate your ignorance.

            Proof? Who needs proof?


  2. Biggie says:

    Interesting piece Mak.
    It is a wonder how mankind has twisted their beliefs into religion to satify their ego.
    I look at all religious zealots and how they look at or treat people not in their cult and wonder if that is the teaching indeed. I have read the Quran, it is a good sober book with very many good teachings, unfortunately some people have chosen to manipulate the teachings to suit their ulterior motives, which are mostly backwards.
    It is like they are fighting for the right to be willfully ignorant as though it is a virtue, a virtue to be ignorant and proud of it.


    • makagutu says:

      You are right brother, it was only inevitable that the Koran written after all the good books have been written, they could have to borrow from them and at the same time needed a way to justify the violence. The best way to do that was to claim it was said by god to none other than the prophet.

      They fight to show who wins in the field of ignorance. Crazy indeed 😀


  3. aguywithoutboxers says:

    Quite a composition, my blogging brother! All of the “sacred” teachings of these Middle Eastern religions, as discussed yesterday, are merely re-writes of one another. The only significant difference is that each one comes with a separate name.

    Funny how they all claim that we are all created by one deity, yet each belief system, throughout history, hates all those who believe otherwise.

    As for all who follow Mohammed facing Mecca when they pray with their asses facing opposite. Think about it, they want to show the rest of the world their “better” face.

    I’m glad we’re friends, my man! I’d hate to be on the receiving end of your acerbic wit! Much love! 😉


    • makagutu says:

      Hahaha brother, better face it is 😀

      Am glad we are friends, you know I love the Greeks and with you and your Greek heritage I feel closer to the Hellenes than ever before.

      Much love brother!


  4. Im in it strictly for the hidden eggs and chocolate bunnies. 🙂 Everything else is just a sham …


  5. ladysighs says:

    I am glad you are writing something on Islam. It reminded me that I have a song about burkas and such. I didn’t write the words. I will dust if off and have meme put it in her Draft Folder. lol Mine is a bit full.


  6. lexborgia says:

    Excellent. That Rushdie Fatwa will be passed on to us soon if we don”t exhibit more respect for delusional madness.


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