Theists, help needed!


1. You believe so strongly your god is all powerful and all knowing, whom are you trying to please by engaging in apologetics?

2. Why aren’t Catholics born to Muslim parents if we are born religious?

3. If your god is spirit, incorporeal, how could it will anything?

4. If your god is self sufficient, immutable and unchanging, what happened at the point it decided to create the universe or it became unchanging after that?

5. You insist your god gave us free will so that we can choose to do good or bad, was it difficult to make all our choices between degrees of good?

6. Each of you claim your religious text is the right one, does it occur to you that not all of you can be right, so how do we tell who is right?

7. If this is the word of god as you claim, why so many interpretations as there are believers? Was it impossible for your god to be clear?

8. This should have been the first question, what is god?

9. If you are Muslim, do you believe the heavenly language is Arabic?

10. Do you believe that Mo went to heaven aboard a Pegasus?

11. Do you believe it is fine to have intercourse with 9 year olds?

12. Christians do you think a man survived in a fish for three days?

13. Which direction is heaven?

14. Jews, do you think god cares so much for foreskin from baby penises?

Am tired, I will populate this list with more questions later. Gone to read

About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

61 thoughts on “Theists, help needed!

  1. chicagoja says:

    Of course, Catholics aren’t born to Muslim parents because religion is basically a learned behavior due to culture indoctrination.

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  2. Here’s another one for you to ponder, Mak – If your god is spirit, incorporeal, was Jesus born with only his mother’s 23 chromosomes? In that event, he would have been his mother’s exact clone – where did the Y chromosome come from?

    OR DID IT? If he lacked the Y chromosome, at least that would explain why twelve men followed him all around the countryside —

    archaeopteryx

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    • john zande says:

      Nice one! Hadn’t considered that little nugget before. Is that an Arch original?

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      • I wish I could take credit – Penn and Teller – I guess it’s better to be known for my honesty, than undeservedly thought brilliant, still, sometimes —

        arch

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        • john zande says:

          Honesty is always the best policy. Still, its a brilliant observation. My brain typically just shuts down the moment i hear “Adam and Eve.” Literally, it refuses to release any neurons for activity until such silliness is safely out of the room

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          • RE: Adam and Eve – Regrettably, there are less than 1000 Blue Whales left on the planet, and zoologists say that even if we stop the killing now, a thousand is not enough to ensure their comeback, as there isn’t sufficient diversity in a mere thousand, to select for disease resistance. Yet we 8 billion people began from a pod of two! Believe at will —

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        • makagutu says:

          well many times you are brilliant all the same!

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    • makagutu says:

      This questions are difficult, it is difficult to see what role Joseph was playing in this whole story unless he is being forced to be a foster father of a god’s child, then maybe god is a poor parent. Offers his only begotten son for adoption and later has him killed, I mean most of us do better 🙂

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  3. chicagoja says:

    The Y chromosome was contributed by an extraterrestrial. In any event, if one believes in the virgin birth, Jesus was not descended from King David (through Joseph) and therefore could not be the messiah.

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  4. violetwisp says:

    The theists with answers seem a bit thin on the ground …

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  5. If there is a creator god that knows all, that he would have to kick Adam out of the garden, that he would have to destroy the Earth with flood, that he would have to sacrifice himself to himself to redeem anyone at all… why did he create the universe full of failures? Was he unable to stop himself? Isn’t he a bit of a fuckup?

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  6. Why was eating a forbidden fruit such a great sin? Why does a human sacrifice make up for this sin? Why are we still born sinners if Jesus died for our sins?

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    • Even MORE questions, Antagonizer:

      What kind of Low-tech god imprints the knowledge of good and evil in the fruit of a tree?

      Sacrifices were made by Humans to appease god – what kind of god sends his own son to be tortured, humiliated, debased, and crucified, to appease himself?

      archaeopteryx
      www/in-His-own-image.com

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      • The morality of the tree of knowledge scenario is on a par with a dog owner placing a treat in front of their dog and with a stern voice warning the dog not to eat the treat, then waiting until the dog eventually eats the treat and responding by beating the dog (run-on sentence?).

        The sacrifice of Jesus isn’t surprising since it’s the same morality in the parable of Abraham almost sacrificing his son.

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        • RE: “The sacrifice of Jesus isn’t surprising since it’s the same morality in the parable of Abraham almost sacrificing his son.” – you might think so, especially considering the parallel story of Issac carrying his own wood to his sacrifice (Holy Cross, Batman!), but with one significant difference – old, delusional Abraham was ordered by his god to sacrifice his son – who ordered god to sacrifice his?

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        • tildeb says:

          I get a little disheartened when a perfectly good and valuable myth is taken literally and rendered to be an historical idiocy in the service of some religious claptrap. I get even more disheartened when criticisms of the latter mistakenly assume that same, that some myths properly belong to such a thieving religion.

          Look, the myth(s) of Genesis are Babylonian and it is a typical creation story. We know this because it has all the signposts of a myth: whenever you encounter something supernatural in a weird little story, this is a signpost for a myth that is built on symbolism. Interpreting the life-affirming myth through assigning appropriate and relevant meaning to the symbols is key to getting pertinent and lasting value out of it because it reveals a basic human truth that should be (if the myth is a good one) as applicable today as it was yesterday and will be tomorrow for all people everywhere all the time.

          This myth is perverted by its abusers to be a earlier justification for a latter event, which is simply incoherent to anyone who pays any attention to such an essential factor. We know the biblical interpretation must be wrong on this basis alone. But we also know the biblical interpretation must be a perversion because it does not result in an affirmation of life as it is in this world at this time for everyone but its negation (setting up the supposed affirmation for the next ‘life’ earned by this one).

          So we know the christian interpretation must be wrong. That isn’t the fault of the myth but the fault of those who interpret the myth so poorly.

          Myths, Joseph Campbell explained, are the public dream using private symbols. Your task, if you seek the wisdom of our ancestors through these timeless stories (and we know just how powerful a teaching tool good stories are for anyone implored by children for just one more) is to allocate personal meaning for the symbols that make coherent sense, that create an experience from which we can learn without having to go slay dragons literally.

          Genesis is a very rich myth for just this reason and awaits your interpretation to make meaning for your own life (that obviously has zero to do with christianity and Jesus). But, please… I implore you to stop denigrating what religion has convinced you belongs to it, things like myths, and architecture, art and music, love, meditation and deep reflection, awe and personal transformation, and so on. Religion, if it is any one thing, is a thief that claims ownership of what it has stolen from others.

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      • makagutu says:

        What god chases away his creation before they can eat of the tree of life unless it’s a malicious god?

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        • Clearly (pretending he existed) he had no intention we would live forever, so the threat of death for disobedience was a hollow one at best, as evidenced by Gen 2:22 “…Behold, the man is become as one of us (royal “we”) to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever –” Unfortunately, he never finishes that sentence, must have been the ADD, but it should be obvious he had no intention that Man should have eternal life, so why the threat that if he ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,he would “surely die” – it was clearly his plan that they would die anyway!!!

          “Ah what a tangled web we weave –“

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  7. lahacienda says:

    I always wondered about the following: When we see today a man walking down the street with a long beard, saying we have to repent because God is watching/coming to Earth/will punish us if we don’t, etc, we call them loonies. Some 2,000 ago they called them prophets (or Jesus). If these guys were indeed prophets – as they claim – who is to say the ones standing outside the metro today aren’t prophets too? What’s the difference between them? And if a guy called Jesus appeared today and said the exact same things he said back then, would anyone believe him?

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    • “Insanity is believing your hallucinations are real. Religion is believing that other peoples’ hallucinations are real.”
      — Dan Barker —

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      • makagutu says:

        Who said insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, must have had religious people in mind. They say the same prayers hoping god will answer and he never does, must be busy watching reality tv, and they don’t stop!

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    • makagutu says:

      The question you are asking is an interesting one. In Brothers Karamazov, Dostoyevsky writes about it in the Grand Inquisitor and says that if Jesus were to show up, the bishops would kill him.

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  8. Arkenaten says:

    ”Over to you….er….William Lane Craig? Oh, NO! Not you again. How many times must you be told? Now, EFF OFF!”

    Like

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