A gentleman’s guide to rape culture


As I was reading this post, I almost said not, am not part of this culture then it dawned on me that in India not so long ago, a minister said sometimes it is right, sometimes it is wrong  and another continued to say that rape can only be said to have been committed if it is reported to the police! How do we treat each other?

How in the name of all that is reasonable should a violation on another’s will be treated with such callousness? How can we claim to be a civilized lot if we treat our fellows, men and women in this manner and especially the women?

Whereas I acknowledge we are animals, members of our species sometimes behave worse than beasts which they are quick to dismiss as unthinking. I have bred cows and I don’t remember anytime one cow tortured another, I have no recollection when a grown up mounted a calf, and unless my memory fails me, there was never an occasion when cows ever gathered themselves to go and attack the next group of cows for holding different belief.

Let the human animal if he has some brain use it.

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About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

51 thoughts on “A gentleman’s guide to rape culture

  1. Mordanicus says:

    Rape is an inexcusable offense, i.e. there’s no situation I can imagine in which rape could be justified. This unlike murder, which could “justified” if killing one is the only way to prevent harm to innocent people.

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  2. I thought the post you linked to was a good read. I might have added a couple of things, but he pretty much nailed most of it. What I liked was the way he gave examples of all the different ways in which women are treated that go towards making up our society, whether you call it patriarchal, male-dominated, discriminatory, or ‘rape society’. In essence they are all the same.

    His point was that you don’t need to rape to contribute (unknowingly) to a society that produces rapists. But I’m speaking from a radfem point of view, so I would say that wouldn’t I?

    The Indian example you quote is a good example of what the author was writing about.

    I read some stats recently, The Arborist maybe, of the number of rapes that are reported and the number of convictions actually made. Depressing reading.

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  3. vastlycurious.com says:

    I also read the post and it occurred to me that primarily he referenced physical rape when in actuality it occurs on multiple mental levels as well and is still a consistent form of misogyny in the States.
    I do not go out at night alone and I have had the misfortune to work for multiple males that crossed the line orally . Is this “rape”. I think not. Is it unacceptable behavior ? Yes. Rape comes in many forms, some lessor and some greater.

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    • makagutu says:

      Any culture that condones rape deserves our loud criticism. My only fear of walking at night is being mugged. It must be tough being a lady

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      • vastlycurious.com says:

        Yes, however being prepared and aware of your surroundings is important as hell!

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        • archaeopteryx1 says:

          Some say that rape is never the woman’s fault, and to a great extent, I agree. But if I were to walk down a dark alley, in a high-crime neighborhood, with hundred-dollar bills hanging out of my pockets, would I not have to share some degree of complicity, if I were robbed, for using poor judgement?

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        • makagutu says:

          Very important

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  4. john zande says:

    I simply cannot see how someone can find pleasure in violence.

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  5. melouisef says:

    I do not t like people but I love animals!

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  6. archaeopteryx1 says:

    I once heard one cow call another cow “Hamburger,” but I think it was in a Gary Larsen cartoon, so it probably doesn’t count.

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  7. aguywithoutboxers says:

    Rape is an insult and a violation. There is no way to attempt to excuse or defend it. It is one of the worst crimes committed as human against human.

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    • makagutu says:

      Being devil’s advocate for a moment. Can we say it is a case of animals being just that animals?

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      • aguywithoutboxers says:

        Animals don’t rape, do they? I mean, doesn’t the female at least have to be “in season?” If so, then it’s not really rape, is it? A person who rapes in evil. Most animals, the natural sort, are not? Am I mistaken here? 🙂

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        • makagutu says:

          You are right my friend. In that case we agree that rape is such a violation that isn’t justifiable except to say the person couldn’t have done things differently and we should find ways to rehabilitate

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        • themodernidiot says:

          Good questions, guys. I’d like to hop on his train of thought.

          Women, in season or out, do not enjoy being taken without their consent. That is yet another place where the line crosses. We’ve graduated to a mental level that discriminates pretty clearly between want and reproductive necessity.

          In the animal kingdom, a female does not need to be in season for the male to mount her. His drive does not rely solely on a female’s cycle, nor does her on his. What makes it not rape in the animal kingdom, it seems to me, is that we a) don’t give animals the same emotional consideration b) assume the female is giving consent because she does not immediately cry, fight, or phone the crisis center afterward. I’m being hyperbolic, of course, but you see my point. Ever really watched animals do it? Haven’t seen a female yet, who seems very pleased when she gets surprised from behind, even if she does not try to fight him off (although I have seen that plenty as well). I’ve seen some males get properly thrashed for their boldness. We could use some nature experts in on this, I think.

          What this makes me wonder is do we, in addition to all the evident problems of human rape, also have a problem with our acceptance, perception, favoring of weakness? I would Never suggest that rape is anyone’s fault because they are not bodybuilding she- or he-males; but can we honestly ask ourselves: is there a difference in the way we see sex among humans as a consensual it required act that makes jumping each other not cool? Have we simply “advanced” beyond our biology, and that is what makes it rape?

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          • archaeopteryx1 says:

            I really can’t answer that yes or no, I can only say that my body and my mind are all I can honestly say I really own, and no one has a right to encroach upon either, without my permission.

            Like my dad used to say, “Your right to swing your fist stops just short of my nose.”

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          • themodernidiot says:

            Haha I like that. I can agree that my protest if advancement is even a little farther away than that. But I am curious why we shun the invasion of personal space, but animals seem more tolerant.

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          • archaeopteryx1 says:

            Possibly because we have a greater ability than other animals to relate past experiences to future possibilities, and can see how someone inside our personal space makes us more vulnerable than one at arm’s length.

            I’ve had Middle-Eastern friends, and have observed that in conversation, they tend to stand much closer than Westerners, actually within what we would term our “personal space,” and that makes most of us eerily uneasy, even though there is no threat nor ill intent implied – it’s purely cultural on both sides.

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          • themodernidiot says:

            Yes, we Americans are wide berth people lol

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          • makagutu says:

            At some point in architecture class we were dealing with space requirements for people and we were to try an experiment; go into a crowded lift and stand looking at guys to see how they would react. Well, we only tried it with those we know.

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          • makagutu says:

            Maybe we have lied to ourselves that we have a nature different from that of other species or class of animals

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          • themodernidiot says:

            And if course we must acknowledge that the intercourse between animals, although a bit rougher than we puny humans can handle, but clearly lacking the crazy-violence. A dog might jump another dog, but it doesn’t beat it beyond recognition or use objects like broken bottles or fire-hot pokers.

            That doesn’t even need debate to put it in the rape category. That’s just some sick, human sh*t.

            Perhaps that’s also what defines rape: beyond reproductive intent

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          • makagutu says:

            There are things men do that I think can only be classified as cruelty. Even if there are femme fatales in the animal kingdom, it is not usually an act of violence. They have evolved to reproduce in a manner that leaves the male dead. Among men, there is a deliberate effort to cause harm.

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          • themodernidiot says:

            So then perhaps we also have to ask, do animals torture other animals for: 1) dominance, 2) fun 3) psychological gratification? Clearly a difficult question to answer on some levels, but perhaps easy on others because their brains’ physical structure does not allow for that kind of link between thought and reward?

            Females do have a deliberately cruel streak as much as men, don’t count them out. Women can be horrifying.

            Excellent discussion as always, my friend. Thank to your other guests also for their comments.

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          • makagutu says:

            I have seen cock fights for dominance, not torture though, just a fight until the competition is beaten senseless.

            Oh yes, all of us have the capacity for cruelty. And sometimes women do things that you are left wondering wth happened.

            You are part of the group that makes the discussion excellent, so, thank you my good friend.

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          • themodernidiot says:

            Thanks to you as well. I fear this is one of the very few places a discussion like this could happen without an emotional explosion shutting it down.

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          • makagutu says:

            You are being very generous dear friend. Thank you.

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          • archaeopteryx1 says:

            Interestingly, SOM implied on VW’s blog that he had experienced rape in jail – I’m surprised he chose not to weigh in here. He could actually have made a positive contribution, for a change, assuming of course there was any truth to his implication, which in his case, is always open to speculation.

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          • makagutu says:

            His comments go straight to moderation on this blog for I have never seen a positive contribution from him, he has a difficulty writing my name correctly and repeats the same statements wherever he comments. That could explain his absence here.

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          • makagutu says:

            You ask a difficult question. In one of his many books nietzsche writes man is the only animal that has moved so far from his nature. I am tempted to agree not in order to excuse rape but to give it some perspective. We are first animals and without nurture am certain most of us would be worse than beasts.

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          • archaeopteryx1 says:

            Certainly humans are more creative than other animals, in finding ways of being cruel to each other. In your own country, Mak, you have people encased in automobile tires and set on fire.

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          • makagutu says:

            I don’t think they do it anymore but I can tell you I have seen violence meted on a guy who snatched a phone and it was horrid

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          • archaeopteryx1 says:

            My information comes from my Kenyan “friend,” and is admittedly nearly 20 years old. I say friend because we worked together, then he began to use me to do things for him, such as use my credit to help him get into an apartment.

            Oddly, during the entire six months he lived there, he had no furniture, only a chair on wheels I had given him. One night, while visiting him, my car wouldn’t start, and I was forced to spend the night there on the floor. Getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I found him asleep in the chair, his back to the wall, at the furthest end of the hall. Strange man.

            He was offered a full-time job, but turned it down – that led me to suspect that he was in the country illegally and had no papers, authorizing him to work. Possibly his sleeping with his back to the wall at the furthest corner of the hall, was fear of being caught by Immigration authorities.

            Fortunately for my friendship with Mak, I don’t judge all Kenyans by any given one.

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          • makagutu says:

            That was an odd friend you got there my friend.
            Does he still communicate with you or he went under?

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          • archaeopteryx1 says:

            I worked with him for a few months, found him extremely intelligent and articulate, and considered him a friend, but discovering he had significant personality problems, as well as a penchant for illegal activity, I finally told him to get lost, and he still had the unmitigated gall to ask me for bus fare. Certainly not a sterling representative of your country by any means, but I would never judge the people of a country by one lone, acquaintance.

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          • makagutu says:

            That would be basing your judgement on a number that ain’t representative of the whole.
            That fellow had some nerve

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  8. When so-called “lesser evolved” animal species behave better than we do, it is time for us to question our “humanity.”

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  9. shelldigger says:

    Wow, nice post, lots of great comments. I can’t think of much to add. Just a high five to everyone.

    Just thinking out loud here, in the animal kingdom there are a lot of squabbles related to dominance, which in turn relates to the right to mate. I think in many human cases of rape this is kind of an extension of that. Dominace being the driving force, the rape a consequence of the desire to be dominant. Of course there are sexual deviants as well who are just in it for the sex. Either way anyone that claims we humans are not animals has had the blinders to reality on for far too long. Anyone that can justify rape is an evil fuck.

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    • makagutu says:

      Thanks my friend and you make very interesting observations.
      To justify rape is quite abhorrent. To try and understand why others do it, is a duty

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