god and penises

If a man’s testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of the LORD. [Deut 23:1]

Who does the checking?

About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

69 thoughts on “god and penises

  1. shelldigger says:

    Either action, crushed testes, or a cut off penis, would both make a man unable to have children. It appears to me it isn’t that a guy suffers such a traumatic injury is the issue. Is the problem that a guy can no longer make babies? This would mean that men with functioning apparatus yet shooting blanks would also be excluded from their religious mumbo jumbo. What about a guy who opts for a vasectomy? What about a guy that pulls out early? What about a guy that uses a condom?

    Maybe it is just some kind of manly man swagger thing? You no longer are a REAL man, therefore we decided thall shalt not be able to apply for heaven? Funny the real men in religious circles are mostly a bunch of pasty faced sissies with callous free hands, who have never had a real job, but they are in charge of making the decisions?

    Maybe I should try to stop making any kind of sense from a bible verse… it always leads to strange places.


    • archaeopteryx1 says:

      RE: “What about a guy that pulls out early?” – er, ah, Shelldigger, you might want to ask Onan (Gen 38:9) —


      • shelldigger says:

        mmmm, ok then, if my brother dies it is my duty to go fuck his wife? 38:8

        …and if I say no to that or, do as Onan, who apparently decided the fucking part wasok, just not the getting pregnant part, that is a crime punishable by death? (I did not see exactly how this death sentence was carried out, it must have been one of those magical godly moments)

        Who the fuck comes up with this shit? Who the fuck takes it seriously? Sounds like a bunch of crap made up by some 12 year olds who thought they were in charge.

        There are 2 parts of the bible that make sense to me, totally natural responses to certain situations, one which calls for restraint in most cases….the eye for an eye, and the do unto others thing.

        Just about everything else is childish hogwash.


        • archaeopteryx1 says:

          mmmm, ok then, if my brother dies it is my duty to go fuck his wife?” – unless she’s really, REALLY ugly, then the deal’s off!


          • shelldigger says:

            Way back when I was a much younger man I was stuck way out in the Iowa boonies on an old farm with my grandma and uncle (who I still miss very much as they are gone) and there wasn’t much to do except feed the chickens, gather the eggs and feed the cows. So I took to reading, always was a good reader. I read every old National Geographic, and there were piles of them. I read a lot of very old school books (grandma was an old school marm) I had dodged the bible like it was the plague but I eventually ran out of stuff to read.

            So I picked up the bible, and said what the hey, let’s see what this is all about. That experience is probably what made me what ever the hell I am today. One thing for sure it is not a x-ian. Or a deist of any sort. Or any woo loving dipshit that has such an open mind their brains have fallen out. Nope, must be an atheist.

            I don’t remember a whole lot of details from the experience such as chapter and verse, but I do remember very very many wtf? moments. I would encourage all x-ians to sit down and actually read their bibles. Might be good for em. Was for me.

            This Onan thing was definately one of those wtf? moments 🙂


    • makagutu says:

      Maybe I should try to stop making any kind of sense from a bible verse

      That would be in your best interest


  2. nikkiholicz says:

    That is a damn fine question! “I’ll just need you to remove your pants, sir.” That seems a little awkward.


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