Chronicles of YHWH 1: Of Unicorns and Fat Cows

(Note: The “Chronicles of YHWH” series of posts are meant to be a light-hearted take on the bible stories)

On the morning of the fifth day, Angel Gabriel handed YHWH the day’s creation program:

YHWH: “Let’s see: a chambered nautilus, cattle, rhinoceroses, elephants, moccasins, monkeys, hammer heads, unicorns, hyraxes… Wait… why is there a unicorn in this list?”

Gabriel: “It’s a pimped-up horse.”

YHWH: “It’s a horse with a horn in the face. I won’t create that.”

Gabriel: “But the rhinoceros is a fat cow with TWO horns in the face. You seem okay with it.”

YHWH: “I will stick three horns on YOUR face, Gabriel, if you start questioning me.”

Gabriel (Hastily): “That won’t be necessary, Lord. I understand completely: no unicorns”

And that’s why there are no unicorns on earth.

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.