Chronicles of YHWH 2: The Talking Snake


(Note: The “Chronicles of YHWH” series of posts are meant to be a light-hearted take on the bible stories)

One day, Angel Gabriel joined YHWH at the breakfast table:

Gabriel: “So I’ve been wondering, Lord: why did you chase away Lucifer from this heavenly Kingdom?”

YHWH: “Lucifer was initially a good musician. But he got corrupted, and started making forays into Dubstep and Reggae. I can’t stand either.”

Gabriel: “Okay. So why did you turn him into a talking snake?”

YHWH: “I like talking snakes. Besides, talking snakes can’t perform Dubstep or Reggae. They would look ridiculous. Ha ha.”

Gabriel: “Err… okay. But why did you put him in the same garden as Adam and Eve?”

YHWH: “Because I am very wise, and my ways are mysterious. LOL.”

Gabriel: “Well, the talking snake has convinced Adam and Eve to start wearing clothes. The two are no longer naked. So much for our daily shows.”

YHWH (Chocking on a slice of unleavened bread): “What! That is totally unacceptable! Cut off the legs of the crazy snake immediately! And prepare an eviction notice for Adam and Eve! I won’t have clothed people in my garden!”

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.

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About Joseph Wahome

Used to the quirky side of life: been there, done that, got burnt, got redeemed, sticking the neck out again, but this time, with some titanium necklaces.

6 thoughts on “Chronicles of YHWH 2: The Talking Snake

  1. hitchens67 says:

    This is awesome!

    Like

    • Joseph Wahome says:

      Thanks a lot, Hitchens. More such anecdotes coming up.

      Like

      • hitchens67 says:

        Keep em coming. That is some awesome blasphemy! I sure as Hell will keep reading! That is such a creative way for dissecting the psychology of why a mentally ill super being would perp the shit that appears in the Unholy Babble.

        Like

  2. Sonel says:

    Serves them well! Without TV’s those times it must have been boring seeing fully dressed folks for sure! Now I also know why the naughty snake lost it’s legs. I must say, I know a lot of talking snakes. 😆

    Like

  3. Joseph Wahome says:

    He he he. Keep it locked, Sonel, and even more biblical secrets will be revealed in time.

    Like

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