Chronicles of YHWH 3: Cain and Abel


One day, YHWH summoned Angel Gabriel to the High Table:

YHWH: “Gabriel, why have the angels congregated in the Eastern and Western wings of this palace? Is someone planning a coup?”

Gabriel: “No, Lord. Cain and Abel are offering their burnt sacrifices today. The angels on the Eastern Wing are collecting Cain’s smoke offering, and those on the Western Wing are collecting Abel’s smoke.”

YHWH: “Ah. I love the smoke of burnt offerings. Carry on, then.”

Gabriel: “I’ll bring the collected smoke to you as soon as they are done.”

YHWH: “Excellent. But wait. Why is Cain’s smoke darker than that of Abel?”

Gabriel: “Abel roasted a young goat. But Cain burnt a collection of herbs: hyacinth, pepper, broccoli, cannabis, and seaweed.”

YHWH (Stammering in surprise): “You… are… K..k..kidding. He what?!”

Gabriel: “The angels collecting Cain’s smoke have been sneezing since morning from the pepper smoke. Some are terribly sick from the broccoli smoke. And they all now seem a bit stoned from the cannabis.”

YHWH (Roaring): “Blow away Cain’s smoke from the palace, Gabriel! Right now! What is wrong with that idiot? Who offers pepper and broccoli as a burnt sacrifice? And tell the stoned angels to kill that crazy vibe about Zion and Babylon!”

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.

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About Joseph Wahome

Used to the quirky side of life: been there, done that, got burnt, got redeemed, sticking the neck out again, but this time, with some titanium necklaces.

6 thoughts on “Chronicles of YHWH 3: Cain and Abel

  1. makagutu says:

    how did they collect the smoke?

    Like

  2. Sonel says:

    hahahahahah! Some of them are stilll stoned today! Thanks for enlightening me once again Joe! This is so much fun to read! 😀

    Like

  3. Joseph Wahome says:

    Ha ha. Thank you, Sonel, for the encouraging words. More anecdotes are on the way.

    Like

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