And now the movie
Warrior # 1: “This one is called Grey Worm, commander of the Unsullied, Guardian in Chief of Astopor, and sworn to Daenerys Targaryen. This one is of unmatched combat prowess, and has expertise in all Valyrian swords and spears.”
(Handclaps all around)
Warrior # 2: “I am Khal Drogo, undefeated warlord of the Dothraki, and leader of the largest Khalassar – forty-thousands strong, and growing. Thousands of heads have fallen by my broadsword.”
(Handclaps all around)
Deity # 1: “I am Zeus, god of the sky and thunder, and the father of gods and men. I rule from Mount Olympus, and my kingdom spreads far and wide. My iconic symbols are the thunderbolt, the eagle, and the Oak. Before these, all gods and men must bow.”
(Handclaps all around)
Deity # 2: “I am YHWH, and I am who I am. I sometimes sniff roasted goats, and burn bushes without consuming them. I once threw frogs at Pharaoh, and turned a certain woman into a pillar of salt. Two thousand years ago, I turned into a human, walked amongst men, and made wine out of water. But the humans kidnapped me, beat me senseless, and then nailed me to a tree, in front of my mother, who was still a virgin.”
(Jeers and taunts all around)
N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.
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