Chronicles of YHWH 9: A wager on Job

One day, Lucifer rang YHWH on his speed dial:

Lucifer: “YHWH?”

YHWH: “Speaking.”

Lucifer: “I’m bored.”

YHWH: “Come up here for a game of hide and seek.”

Lucifer: “Say, I’ve got a few nasty chemical weapons that are about to expire here. Do you have a nice human family down there I can pour the chemicals on?”

YHWH: “Wellโ€ฆ let’s see. There’s Job and his huge family. Thousands of cattle, goats, camels and slaves. And some weird sons and daughters that I don’t particularly like. What exactly do you want to try out?”

Lucifer: “I have some anthrax powder here, some measles and leprosy agents, and an advanced strain of Ebola. I want to see how fast I can wipe out the entire family.”

YHWH: “Ah, then Job’s family is perfect for you. Job trusts me a lot, and won’t start abusing me when his family starts dropping dead around him. Kill all of his children and livestock, but spare his life, and that of his wife. But you may try the leprosy and measles on him. Ha ha.”

Lucifer: “Excellent. This will be an interesting experiment. I bet you ten pieces of silver that Job will crack and insult you, once I’m through with him.”

YHWH: “Deal. If Job insults me, I’ll hand you ten pieces of silver. Dude won’t crack, I assure you. And if he does, I’ll tell him that story about Leviathans. Ha ha.”

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.