Chronicles of YHWH 17: Tycho Monolith

Tycho Monolith

When Dave Bowman fell into the Tycho Monolith, deep in the Jovian System, he beheld a vision of beauty so exotic that his entire mind was transfixed. Billions upon billions of stellar systems streaked right past him, as his apparent transit covered parsecs in seconds. Everything else in the Jovian neighborhood faded into insignificance. Enraptured in pure awe, he uttered the famous line: “Oh my God, it’s full of stars!” Upon which, YHWH immediately burst upon the scene:

 

YHWH: No, it’s NOT full of stars.

 

Dave Bowman (Surprised): It’s not?

 

YHWH: It isn’t. All this is some sort of optical illusion. Nothing is real. All is conjured.

 

Dave Bowman: Who are you, by the way? I can’t see you.

 

YHWH: I am Who I am.

 

Dave Bowman: What does that mean, exactly?

 

YHWH: I’ve no idea. But it just sounds deep, you know? Like something a Zen Buddhist would say.

 

Dave Bowman: So what are you doing out here?

 

YHWH: I too fell into the Tycho Monolith a while back. I’ve been trying to find my way out ever since. My angels and other heavenly beings have apparently abandoned me.

 

Dave Bowman: How did you get to the Jovian system, in the first place? I myself was the commander of the Space Ship “Discovery”, before the “HAL 9000” A.I. system malfunctioned, and locked me out during an EVA.

 

YHWH: I fell into a deep sleep, and took a flight of fancy in it.

 

Dave Bowman: And what exactly does THAT mean?

 

YHWH: I have no idea. But it sounds poetic, doesn’t it? And mysterious.

Long silence:

 

Dave Bowman: Whoever you are, I’m not sure I want to interact with you any longer. You sound a bit… unbalanced.

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.