Chronicles of YHWH 24: Earth-Sick

Earth Sickness

Heaven. Somewhere in the early 21st Century:

Yeshua: I want to visit the humans again, dad.

YHWH: What? Why?

Yeshua: I miss the unleavened bread down there. And the fine wine. And the fish.

YHWH: They will beat you up again. Or worse. I hear their punishment methods have evolved.

Yeshua: Evolved? Into what?

YHWH: Well, they might waterboard you and then throw you into Guantanamo. There, a burly guy called Mirasta will turn you into his wife. He is big. You would never be the same again. And I would never look you in the eyes again.

Yeshua: I can change my appearance. Shave my beard and shorten my hair. I’ll also wear dark sunglasses down there.

YHWH: Too risky. You’ll still stand out. You don’t know how to drive a modern car, for example. And they no longer ride donkeys. You also don’t know how to operate a basic computer. Or even how to mix a Pina Colada.

Yeshua: I could start life there as a baby, once again. Like last time. Learn as I grow up.

YHWH: Not possible. Those humans will not swallow the “immaculate conception” line again. Even last time, it was an incredibly hard sell.

Yeshua: Sigh. So I’m stuck here on your right hand side forever?

YHWH: Pretty much.

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.