Chronicles of YHWH 26: The Burning Bush


Burning Bush

Moses once saw a burning bush in the desert. And Lo, the bush spake to him:

Burning Bush: Moses, come hither. Remove your sandals.

Moses: Hello there, weird burning bush. I’ve never seen a talking bush before.

Burning Bush: I’m not a burning bush. I am YHWH, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Moses: You look like a burning bush.

Burning Bush: The bush is an accessory. A visual prop, if you will. I’m actually the flames in the bush. It’s all magical. That’s why I’m not consuming the leaves of the bush.

Moses: So why are you hiding in the bush, if the bush is not part of you?

Burning Bush: Sigh. You are not getting the theatrical dimension to all this, clearly. I’m not hiding in the bush. The bush is like a costume. It’s all purely conventional.

Moses: So the bush is to you what my robes and sandals are to me?

Burning Bush: More or less. Now to the point of my visit. There are some Jews I’d like you to free from Egypt…

Moses: Wait. Are you telling me that you are wearing a bush, and that without it, you would be naked?

Burning Bush: Ostensibly. Look, it doesn’t really matter. Now these Jews…

Moses (Averting his eyes): I can’t bear to look at the burning flames now. It feels… indecent.

Burning Bush (Roaring): MOSES! FOCUS! I’M NOT NAKED!!!

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.

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About Joseph Wahome

Used to the quirky side of life: been there, done that, got burnt, got redeemed, sticking the neck out again, but this time, with some titanium necklaces.

12 thoughts on “Chronicles of YHWH 26: The Burning Bush

  1. lexborgia says:

    boom.laughing very hard. hats off.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Joseph Wahome says:

      Ha ha. Well then, keep it locked here, Lexborgia. More of the same coming up. We must completely break those ribs. 🙂

      Like

  2. archaeopteryx1 says:

    Which brings me to the question I’ve asked before, but never gotten answer – if we’re made in god’s image, god must have a penis – if so, WHY?

    Also, for all of you out there who know more than I – and you know who you are – does god have a belly button?

    Like

  3. makagutu says:

    Hilarious as always

    Like

  4. […] The Burning Bush: Link. (19th October […]

    Like

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