Moses once saw a burning bush in the desert. And Lo, the bush spake to him:
Burning Bush: Moses, come hither. Remove your sandals.
Moses: Hello there, weird burning bush. I’ve never seen a talking bush before.
Burning Bush: I’m not a burning bush. I am YHWH, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Moses: You look like a burning bush.
Burning Bush: The bush is an accessory. A visual prop, if you will. I’m actually the flames in the bush. It’s all magical. That’s why I’m not consuming the leaves of the bush.
Moses: So why are you hiding in the bush, if the bush is not part of you?
Burning Bush: Sigh. You are not getting the theatrical dimension to all this, clearly. I’m not hiding in the bush. The bush is like a costume. It’s all purely conventional.
Moses: So the bush is to you what my robes and sandals are to me?
Burning Bush: More or less. Now to the point of my visit. There are some Jews I’d like you to free from Egypt…
Moses: Wait. Are you telling me that you are wearing a bush, and that without it, you would be naked?
Burning Bush: Ostensibly. Look, it doesn’t really matter. Now these Jews…
Moses (Averting his eyes): I can’t bear to look at the burning flames now. It feels… indecent.
Burning Bush (Roaring): MOSES! FOCUS! I’M NOT NAKED!!!
N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.
boom.laughing very hard. hats off.
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Ha ha. Well then, keep it locked here, Lexborgia. More of the same coming up. We must completely break those ribs. 🙂
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Which brings me to the question I’ve asked before, but never gotten answer – if we’re made in god’s image, god must have a penis – if so, WHY?
Also, for all of you out there who know more than I – and you know who you are – does god have a belly button?
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It must be for the goddess. 😈
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This whole thing of humans having been created after god’s image doesn’t make sense. If it were true, humans would also be invisible, just like god. And when they actually manifested physically, they too would look like a flame, just like god in the Sinai desert.
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“This whole thing of humans having been created after god’s image doesn’t make sense.” – Judging by a number of people I’ve met (myself included), it it were true, then god must be awful ugly.
PS – Welcome back, Mak!
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Thanks my friend and I agree, given the people have met, I wouldn’t want to meet any god
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Me not know
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Hilarious as always
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Ha ha. Thank you, Noel. Hilarity is the spice of life. I’ll keep them coming.
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Oh you must! I can’t stop laughing at these anecdotes
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[…] The Burning Bush: Link. (19th October […]
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