After Yeshua cast out the demons and sent them to the pigs, the pigs run into the sea, and drowned. A very upset man then run up to where Yeshua was, and the following conversation ensued:
Man: Those were my pigs, magic man. I want my pigs back.
Yeshua: Sorry man, but your pigs have all just died.
Man: You’ve just destroyed my entire life’s work. I have no earthly possessions now.
Yeshua: Look at it this way: there are unlimited treasures waiting for you in heaven. Just be patient and kind while on earth, and you’ll get your own mansion in heaven.
Man: I don’t care about riches beyond the grave, magic man! I want my pigs NOW! Bring them back!
Yeshua: No can do. The deed is done. Besides, even if I brought the pigs back, they would all be full of the demons I’ve just cast into them. You wouldn’t like them.
Man: Why did you cast the demons into the pigs, instead of sending them straight to hell? Why have you impoverished me like this?
Yeshua: The demons requested me to cast them into the pigs.
Man: But why did you oblige them in that request? Why did you value the needs of the demons over my own needs, as the owner of the pigs?
Yeshua: I’ve just told you: there’s a fabulous mansion waiting for you in heaven. Forget about the damn pigs!
Man: I want my pigs back! I want my pigs back!
Yeshua (To his disciples): Peter, Bartholomew, Simon: get this heathen away from my face.
N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.
Random thoughts 
I like your version better than the one in the Bible. 🙂
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Ha ha. Thank you, Kcchief. 🙂 The bible obviously grazed over the irk and ill will that this demon-casting event must have created.
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Could it possibly be that the deity herself/himself was nothing more than a demon-in-disguise, wanting nothing more than a lifetime supply of pork chops? Cool parable!
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Hmmm. That’s certainly a possibility. Ha ha. It’d certainly explain why he’d send the pigs scampering to their deaths, instead of directing the demons directly to hell.
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So that’s how the war on pigs began! An aside: I’ve never heard of any cows around those parts back then. Were there?
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Cattle were mentioned several times in the Old Testament, especially in Genesis, Psalms, Exodus, and Job. They were mostly referred to as Oxen. But for some reason, I can’t seem to trace any single verse in the New Testament mentioning cows. Weird, right?
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seeing that pictures, all I can think of is water ballet with pigs and a nice waltz playing in the background 🙂
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Ha ha. Pigs are beautiful, if left alone to do their things. This whole religious animosity towards them is unwarranted. They are animals, just like cattle or cats… or humans.
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Imagine this farmer was some guy on weed, there would be a war of no small magnitude.
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I’m pretty sure that this Swine Scandal would have contributed to the ultimate demise and crucifixion of Jesus – if Jesus had actually existed.
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I mean if the guy existed, this should have been brought at the trial if we leave out cursing fig trees
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