Chronicles of YHWH 36: Happy Birthday, Yeshua

Happy Birthday

Heaven, 24th December, 2014:

Yeshua: Dad, do we have to do this? Do we have to have a birthday party tomorrow?

YHWH: Yes! Absolutely! I’ll prepare extra manna for the angels and the four-headed beasts tomorrow. Take care of the unleavened bread and the wine, will you?

Yeshua: But dad, we throw the exact some party each year on this day. The exact same foods and wines, and the exact same birthday songs for me. It’s getting a tad boring.

YHWH: I know, son. I know.

Yeshua: Yet you absolutely resist any attempt to add spice and variety to the celebrations. Last year, Angel Bamanifa suggested new dance moves in the celebrations, and you promptly sent him to hell.

YHWH: Yes. This I did, my son.

Yeshua: Also, the birthday cake keeps getting bigger and bigger. Do we have to place all the 2,014 candles on its surface?

YHWH: Of course, son. That’s your present age, right?

Yeshua: But we can just put one candle there to stand in for the rest, symbolically.

YHWH: Look, son, you’ve absolutely refused to go out there and get your own house. You insist on living under my roof, even after two thousand years. The more you continue living with me, the more your birthday cake will get bigger, as we add more candles to it. Comprendes?

Yeshua (Crestfallen): Could we at least sing some new songs tomorrow?

YHWH: No! Singing the exact same old, boring songs is my peaceful way of protesting against your continued presence in my house.

 Merry Christmas, Everyone!!

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.

About Joseph Wahome

Used to the quirky side of life: been there, done that, got burnt, got redeemed, sticking the neck out again, but this time, with some titanium necklaces.

11 thoughts on “Chronicles of YHWH 36: Happy Birthday, Yeshua

  1. archaeopteryx1 says:


    • Joseph Wahome says:

      Ha ha ha. Seriously, it must be a drag to have, as your greatest achievement on earth, a history of getting stapled on a tree, in front of your virgin mother.


  2. archaeopteryx1 says:


    • Joseph Wahome says:

      Indeed: let’s all pretend that the fundies are not delusional, for just one day. This way, we can eat their cakes and drink their wine, for the whole day. And a day after Christmas, we can go back to being our real, unbelieving selves. 🙂


  3. Maria F. says:

    This is simply hilarious.


  4. ratamacue0 says:

    I’ll prepare extra manna for the angels

    What, no quail? Some party!


    • Joseph Wahome says:

      Ha ha. Apparently, these characters still have a problem with eating anything that has feathers on it. Strange perspectives.


  5. aguywithoutboxers says:

    Proof that the eternal son isn’t so exceptional after all! 🙂 Cute post!


  6. […] Happy Birthday, Yeshua: Link. (24th December […]


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