Bethlehem, 2,014 years ago, in a certain cattle enclosure:
Joseph (Looking perplexed): Immaculate conception, huh.
Mary: Yes dear. Completely immaculate. The lord is great. I will praise his name forever.
Short pause. Joseph scratches his head, while looking at the new born baby.
Joseph: He looks slightly Chinese.
Mary: Well, he is supposed to be a saviour of the entire world. Perhaps Chinese are more acceptable worldwide. The lord is great, and his ways incomprehensible to us humans.
Joseph: Hmmm. Say, this angel who originally told you about your immaculate conception: was he Chinese?
Mary: No, he wasn’t. Look, what are you trying to drive at, Joseph?
Joseph: Nothing much. It’s just that, well, this is all a bit overwhelming. I wasn’t expecting our first baby to be Asian.
Mary: I know. The Lord of Hosts is quite overwhelming. But his ways are perfect, for the Lord is great. I will praise his name forever.
Joseph: There will be a lot of awkward questions from our friends and relatives.
Mary: You are over-thinking this whole thing, my dear. We should praise and worship the lord for giving us such a precious gift. Through us, the saviour of humankind has been born.
Joseph (Sighing): I suppose you are right.
All around the two new parents, the cattle chew cuds, and stomp their feet. A few burp. And Joseph continues to gaze at the new-born, a puzzled expression on his face.
Happy Festive Season, Everyone!
N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.
‘he looks slightly Chinese.’ LoL. Just imagine if he was black: we’d still be waiting for a saviour (hahaha).Good to see the entire army hasn’t deserted. Hope you’re enjoying these ‘gifts’ of free time, compliments of Catholicism. Merry Doctor Who. Cheers.
LikeLike
Cheers, Lexborgia. 🙂 And yes, we are totally having fun and copious amounts of drinks. It’s a merry time, all over.
LikeLike
copy that
LikeLike
[…] Recommended & guaranteed to make you laugh: Whose Child Is This? […]
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
So irreverent!
Enjoy your time off if you have any, and may the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny and Santa Claus spoil you.
LikeLike
You too, Emmylgant: may this festive season be fun filled for you too. 🙂
LikeLike
They could get away with the immaculate conception thing then I suppose, if you are able to twist your rationalizations into pretzels.
Like to see them try to pull that shit today with DNA testing widely available.
I am convinced the entire story is as created as the gods themselves. No way this Joseph character could have been that damn stupid…?
LikeLike
We are in complete agreement, Shelldigger. That’s why I pen down satirical versions of those biblical tales, to illustrate the sheer absurdity in them.
LikeLike
LMFAO! This chapter is outstanding. Now, we all know where those damn Xmas cookies originated: cow manure! All that cud chewing is bound to generate some type of excrement!
LikeLike
Ha ha. Indeed. Good to see you in this new year, my friend. Looking forwards to sharing even more as the year progresses.
LikeLiked by 1 person
[…] Paternity: Link. (25th December […]
LikeLike