Chronicles of YHWH 37: Paternity


Paternity

Bethlehem, 2,014 years ago, in a certain cattle enclosure:

Joseph (Looking perplexed): Immaculate conception, huh.

Mary: Yes dear. Completely immaculate. The lord is great. I will praise his name forever.

Short pause. Joseph scratches his head, while looking at the new born baby.

Joseph: He looks slightly Chinese.

Mary: Well, he is supposed to be a saviour of the entire world. Perhaps Chinese are more acceptable worldwide. The lord is great, and his ways incomprehensible to us humans.

Joseph: Hmmm. Say, this angel who originally told you about your immaculate conception: was he Chinese?

Mary: No, he wasn’t. Look, what are you trying to drive at, Joseph?

Joseph: Nothing much. It’s just that, well, this is all a bit overwhelming. I wasn’t expecting our first baby to be Asian.

Mary: I know. The Lord of Hosts is quite overwhelming. But his ways are perfect, for the Lord is great. I will praise his name forever.

Joseph: There will be a lot of awkward questions from our friends and relatives.

Mary: You are over-thinking this whole thing, my dear. We should praise and worship the lord for giving us such a precious gift. Through us, the saviour of humankind has been born.

Joseph (Sighing): I suppose you are right.

All around the two new parents, the cattle chew cuds, and stomp their feet. A few burp. And Joseph continues to gaze at the new-born, a puzzled expression on his face.

Happy Festive Season, Everyone!

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.

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About Joseph Wahome

Used to the quirky side of life: been there, done that, got burnt, got redeemed, sticking the neck out again, but this time, with some titanium necklaces.

12 thoughts on “Chronicles of YHWH 37: Paternity

  1. lexborgia says:

    ‘he looks slightly Chinese.’ LoL. Just imagine if he was black: we’d still be waiting for a saviour (hahaha).Good to see the entire army hasn’t deserted. Hope you’re enjoying these ‘gifts’ of free time, compliments of Catholicism. Merry Doctor Who. Cheers.

    Like

  2. […] Recommended & guaranteed to make you laugh: Whose Child Is This? […]

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  3. emmylgant says:

    So irreverent!
    Enjoy your time off if you have any, and may the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny and Santa Claus spoil you.

    Like

  4. shelldigger says:

    They could get away with the immaculate conception thing then I suppose, if you are able to twist your rationalizations into pretzels.

    Like to see them try to pull that shit today with DNA testing widely available.

    I am convinced the entire story is as created as the gods themselves. No way this Joseph character could have been that damn stupid…?

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    • Joseph Wahome says:

      We are in complete agreement, Shelldigger. That’s why I pen down satirical versions of those biblical tales, to illustrate the sheer absurdity in them.

      Like

  5. aguywithoutboxers says:

    LMFAO! This chapter is outstanding. Now, we all know where those damn Xmas cookies originated: cow manure! All that cud chewing is bound to generate some type of excrement!

    Like

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