I was reading if god can write on a wall why can’t he write his own bible and it occurred to me that there are, at least, two occasions in the bible when god actually wrote some thing and so we must ask why not just write the damn thing once? Why have so many people telling odd stories then getting it all cobbled up together like A coat of many colours.
I hope the religious can help with this and we could then rest the matter.
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the usual apologia that I’ve seen for this is the free will argument. aka “if we knew that god really exists, then we wouldn’t have a choice”
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And we will point them to Adam and Eve, the first cretins. or to Jacob who wrestled with god, or to Abe who without consulting Sara wanted to kill their son or to the many instances god talks to Moses. That line will not hold, we have our bases covered 😛
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Sure you would have a choice, like, which god? there’s dozens of them out there, take your pick!
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I just want one worth that title to show up. I don’t want to choose
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That may be an excellent argument for the lack of gods anywhere. Or, maybe She was busy working on that avocado pit problem, you know, it’s too big. I wonder if She’ll take on loquats when She’s done with the avocado?
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Just maybe
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Because otherwise humans would have nothing to argue about and fight over? Thereby giving a god more publicity than it really merited?,
I don’t know. Search me.
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so it was god’s perfect plan that his minions keep bickering over which book is the correct one and go on killing one another for misinterpretation?
I think I can agree with this.
On a different site I frequent, someone posited the question whether god intended men to fail from the word go?
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Yup, I think that was the plan.
As was the failure, because, don’t forget, we are all born evil sinners so therefore we are bound to fail
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Or created ignorant as was the case with A & E.
There was never going to be an escape
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I flipped at that. I thought, what has accident and emergency got to do with it?
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there is no escape when dealing with gods it seems. First we don’t know what they are then we can’t tell what they want
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Ha! Oh, I’m going to have fun with this 🙂
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I can’t wait to read what you do with this.
Just imagine god writing thou shall not suffer a witch to live and then sitting down to edit the book and asking itself what the hell is wrong with me?
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Didn’t employ a proper editor would be my response …
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with all omnipresence, omniscience and omnipotence, I think this was a bad show
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We have to find the right thread now. I might lurk over at Colorstorms place and see if an opportunity arises 🙂
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I hardly visit lunatic asylums. When you should go there, let me know the outcome
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A story always gets better in the retelling.
When we go out somewhere…like to a dinner at a new friend’s home, my husband tells the same darn jokes. 😦 But he always adds a little something or other and makes a whole new joke. 🙂 It keeps me from getting bored with his yak.
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Hahaha. I agree with this but it would be better to have the god book as a reference just as you know a little embellishment has gone into the joke
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I do have that book. My mother gave it to us as a Christmas present over 40 years ago. It is still in its original unwrapped box.
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maybe I could borrow it.
How are you sweetheart?
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No, I keep it on the bookshelf to impress others. 🙂
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Haha. That’s good use too
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Because he lost his hands in a car accident. Can’t expect the ole bloke to write without hands, now could you? He hired a temp service made up of Larry, Moe, and Curly, and then he dictated the Babble to them after consuming massive amounts of vodka.
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be that as it may, he should have done proof checking. You don’t need hands for that, just a little sobriety and a knowledge of syntax which shouldn’t be a problem to omniscience
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“just a little sobriety” And therein lies the rub. Does anything written in the Babble seem to you like anyone or anything sober wrote it? Hard, too, for a god to write anything when it/he doesn’t exist.
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Well, a few places here and there had an almost or sober guy but the rest of it, the guys were in the deep end of crazy
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Doesn’t ‘God’ deserve a secretary?
I mean, he’s a busy bloke, what with that smiting and stuff.
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why not write the good book in between smiting?
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He was eating his sandwiches?
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that explains it. Am now convinced. But don’t you think omnipotent could divide itself to several omnis to get the work done and unite in one omni again?
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This would mean that the god God was a woman, as only women can multi task, apparently … but possible. Quite possible.
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quite possible. what then is the use of omni anything
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Smiting? Nah, that task had to be delegated to Muslim extremists because designing 10^24 unique new snowflakes per year has become a gargantuan challenge after 4.5 billion years.
Ain’t nobody got time for that!
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Your omnipotence was busy elsewhere, maybe watching American football
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I think this ‘god’ of them will have lots of excuses for not doing that Mak, just like they always do. Guess he/she was too busy ‘punishing’ all the evil people. Yeah right! 😆
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Punishing people came later. I mean he should have written the book way in advance for we expect omniscience to know what will happen in future
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See! And then they want us to believe in something like that. Oh goodness me, no thank you! Way too complicated for me. I do prefer the simple things in life. 😉
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simple things in life and google 😛
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Oh yeah! Google is simple and easy enough for this blonde. 😆
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you blonde? or is it the colour of your hair?
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Both. 😆
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God was actually illiterate for a long time; indeed theologians speculate he may have created humans to teach him how to read and write. Moses had to do quite a bit of copy editing on the Ten Commandments, for instance: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” originally read “Tou sbalbs havent no nothin kinder goo bafl mi,” which is utterly incomprehensible, Recent efforts to discover the algorithms of this sentence by running it through a computer spell-checker, have revealed that it isn’t a commandment at all but an admission: “that baseballs haven’t any sperm in them baffles me.” One cannot but be touched by the innocence expressed.
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I can’t stop laughing. You have made my evening
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That was so beautifully articulated that I’m weeping like a 4 year old child who just dropped his candy down the toilet on accident. Mak, your question has been answered. No further discussion is required, except, of course, on the matter of why do baseballs not have sperm in them. $Amen$
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He articulated the answer so well I can’t stop laughing. That was simply brilliant and now I can’t get it over my head why baseballs have no sperm
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I’m giving him a Nobel Prize for that answer. Hell, I’m giving him two. Simply brilliant. 🙂
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I am mentioning him for a Pulitzer Prize
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He’s earned one.
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How does one beat that comment?
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You can’t. Funniest damn thing I’ve read since Colorstorm proposed marriage to me. Hilarious.
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That was hilarious. Colostrom has never found his way back here since that incident. I bet you declined the proposal
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I most certainly did. My girlfriend would’ve been devastated had I accepted.
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Good for you my friend. We would be mourning your being sent parking
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🙂
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Sorry for little further input (had to go to work). Thanks to you and makagutu for warm comments.
I read the sacred texts and find myself moved, In fact I am headed into the bathroom with bible in hand to be moved some more (you can read about it in the Song of Solomon, “my bowels moved,” etc.) Fortunately there is a bible verse for every occasion….
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You need not be sorry. You had us laughing our asses off. That was so brilliant
That is the good thing about the bible, it has a verse for everything
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Direct contact with God is suppposed to be very rare, according to Judaism. It’s about as rare as a shiny Pokemon (Red Garydos excluded). That’s why that big party in Mt. Sinai is such a big deal. A book written by God would be an example of direct contact. This refers to the Old Testament only. I don’t know anything about the Collected Stories of Jesus Christ
As for the Quran, it is considered the word of God. That’s a major difference between it and the Old Testament that people often overlook when afraid to admit some Muslims kill a little too much.
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My problem isn’t about contact with god, why not just write the damn book once and deliver?
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As I said, something written by God would be considered a direct contact, which is supposed to be rare. If God wrote all of the Old Testament, it’d be less consistent with his behavior.
If he didn’t reveal himself in front of very important figures, why should be write a book for everyone?
Keep in mind that the Old Testament is treated differently in Judaism than Christianity. It can be easy to confuse the ideas of the two, considering the Judaism’s book is part of Christianity’s.
I’m in Israel, so that’s the little I know although I’m not well-versed.
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some friend has raised a bigger question here, if it is believed he created the entire universe isn’t that more direct contact than just writing a book? I mean think of it!
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I’d say ‘contact’ in the form of communication. That means when God communicates with humans in their own methods – words.
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How would you treat what believers call the direct works of god such as miracles which were frequent at an earlier age, do they qualify as direct communication
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I just heard on Fox News that you can’t have direct communication with god unless you have Skype. Go figure.
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I have been trying to add god to my skype contacts and I get user not found. Do you know what the problem may be
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Your faith in Skype is weak. Reassess it, and try again. Remember, if you doubt god and/or Skype, it is because you are weak and foolish to not fully accept their truth. $Amen$
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Depending specifcally on what miracles.
I don’t think so. I think they’re a way of contacting, but they’re not direct contact. As I said, direct contact is like the party in Mt. Sinai. There’s a very small amount of people in the Old Testament that made direct contact with God. That’s a pretty big topic in Judaism.
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I should spend more time with Judaism in that case
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I was married to a gal named Judy. I’d recommend staying away from Judyism if I were you. She was a handful!
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Haha. Your choices of spouse seems to me to have always been bad
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Tell me about it. I had Colorstorm courting me for months, and I’m not even gay! Crazy, crazy world, eh?
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Or make a live, world wide TV broadcast and just bloody introduce itself already. Jeez!
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You know, it can’t be that hard
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Settle matters once and for all if it did that. Can’t be as hard as creating a universe from nothing, now could it?
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How is that not a direct event?
If the guy in V for Vendetta could have control of mobile networks for a short period, god, if there were any shouldn’t have had a difficulty with this
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That’s why the apologists are so idiotic to me. It’s so obvious they’re full of crap. They have no real answers to these questions so they create a garbage mash up of words, impart them with untouchable deference, then say anyone who questions them is persecuting them. Sorry folks. There ain’t no god. If there were, it’d use the bloody tellie to announce itself. Easy as pie, for a real creature with omnipotent power that is.
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Or even leaflets! With omnipowers you could just change whatever news agencies were printing or have all books read the same shit
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Gotta be easier than creating black holes, don’t ya think?
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way damn easy. unless this omnipotent thing means impotent
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Course, the apologists will tell us you and I just aren’t looking at this “correctly” because we’re godless heathens who hate theists and are dumb. I disagree with the dumb part. 🙂
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me too, i disagree with the dumb part. I accept to reading it wrong
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Me too, but when they explain the “right” way to read these books, they sound like blithering idiots. christians and muslims can’t even remotely agree with each other on their own books but say nonbelievers are wrong to not believe them. Silliness times a million billion I say.
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I like it when Muslims point out the lies in christianity and vice versa
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Fun stuff. Fun to is christian on christian hate. Love that. Catholic bashing is big within many truchristian sects. Fun shit to watch.
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Catholics are not true christians! You didn’t know that?
And all christians are not true either, they are Paulinites
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I wasn’t aware of the Catholic bashing by other christians until fairly recently. Entertaining stuff.
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that I knew even when I was still religious
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Would make a good game show. Christian v Christian for the right to take on the Muslim champion from the Muslim v Muslim show. Spiffy!
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that would make for a wonderful show
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