Chronicles of YHWH 39: Drunk Noah


Drunk Noah

 

The story goes that after the great flood, Noah made wine from his vineyard, got drunk from it, and shed all his clothes. He then run around and danced naked. YHWH spotted him, and got pissed off:

 

YHWH (In a thundering voice): NOAH! Wear some clothes, you idiot!

Noah (Running away, stark naked): No! I will not!

YHWH (Running after Noah): Come on, Noah. Out of the entire human race, I chose you as the most sane, and spared your life. Behave like a sane person.

Noah: I don’t wanna!

YHWH: I’ll curse you and your descendants to the 25th generation if you don’t wear some clothes right now, Noah!

Noah (Prancing around): Ha ha! The curses will wash off my naked, sweaty body!

YHWH: I regret saving you from the flood, Noah. I should have chosen a different family!

Noah (Rolling in a muddy puddle): Come, let’s roll in this mud together! I feel like a filthy swine right now, and I like it!

YHWH: You are such a filthy person, Noah.

Noah (Clapping muddy hands together): Yes! Yes! I am! Most filthy!

YHWH: Please wear your clothes. Your sons will see your shame if you don’t, Noah.

Noah (Jumping up and down): My shame is completely shameless! Look at it, dancing around as I jump! Dance, my gorgeous shame, Dance!

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.

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About Joseph Wahome

Used to the quirky side of life: been there, done that, got burnt, got redeemed, sticking the neck out again, but this time, with some titanium necklaces.

11 thoughts on “Chronicles of YHWH 39: Drunk Noah

  1. makagutu says:

    Noah had to celebrate after having been in close quarters with bovine and smelly cats. I understand his elation

    Like

    • Joseph Wahome says:

      The particularly strong smell of cat urine might have loosened a few nuts in his head too.

      Like

      • makagutu says:

        That is if there was any in the beginning. What sane person would go talking to mosquitoes to join in his voyage?

        Like

        • Joseph Wahome says:

          Well, according to entomologists (or some other funny discipline about insects) mosquitoes are actually very important to plant life, because they contribute to pollination more than bees. Apparently, if mosquitoes were eliminated from earth, plant life would be adversely affected.

          Like

  2. themodernidiot says:

    The visual of god chasing noah around trying to get him dressed, excellent! A chore so many parents can relate to haha. On topic, why did Jesus get nekkid to wash his disciples feet? #creeperjesus

    Like

    • Joseph Wahome says:

      Ha ha. Jeebus was an all-around nutcase. But if you look at his heavenly dad, you’ll see that the mental malaise runs in the family.

      Liked by 1 person

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