It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages
Friedrich Nietzsche
You sure must have heard about the young Kenyan lawyer who wants to be an in-law to the Obamas. I have no issue with that. I mean he the man has lovely daughters. What I take issue with is this lawyer thinking they are for sale and offers to pay livestock in exchange for her hand in marriage.
I have found no good reason to justify bride price or dowry and I am not going to make exceptions when I decide to get married. Any woman who thinks the measure of how committed a man is could be determined how he readily endures those silly negotiations with your relatives must count me out.
Sometimes I get surprised at how stupid some people in the US are. A week ago, I think, that social media craze called snapchat featured Nairobi and some of the tweets that followed are so silly, it is unbelievable.
There is an open letter to a Njoki Chege who has decided to offer men in Kenya lessons and set standards for her would be husband. The woman got guts, that I give her.
I am afraid, the I know it all Njoki Chege is dead wrong on why people have extra pair copulation. And it saddens me that several of those who comment on her posts agree with her inflated sense of importance.
Happy Sunday to all who pass by this spot.
Random thoughts 
I think its better be called pick n pay than bride price
LikeLike
I agree with you brother. And they should come with their price tags so we always know
LikeLike
The bride price/dowry. Where & how this inane custom started, I don’t know, but it must end. Speaking as a woman (a white, Italian-American woman who has lived a first world life in the US) I see it as, well, insulting to women. I mean, a man wants to marry…but rather than ask the woman if she WANTS TO spend eternity with him, he insisted goes to her father with a wad of cash, or a fatted goat (or other livestock) and if the father determines the offering of cash/livestock to be sufficient, he gives over his daughter, whose wishes obviously don’t matter.
LikeLike
Cara, I don’t know why in this still happens in this day and age.
I would wish it ends
LikeLike
Because women the world over don’t all get together and say “no more”. That’s why.
LikeLike
That is true. I have met women, educated women, who tell me dowry must be paid or the men shown the door
LikeLike
If I wanted to charge a price, I would stand on a street corner, wearing a red dress, announce my fee up front, & do a brisk business. I don’t need to spend forever with someone just because he has a few dollars (the livestock thing isn’t really popular here, I wouldn’t know what to do with a goat, my neighbors would stare if they saw me walk a goat), I can get my own money.
LikeLike
Whenever I have said something close, I have been told why do I want to change customs. Our forefathers did it!
LikeLike
I’m Italian-American, my “forefathers” didn’t use deodorant, but on a hot, humid, brooklyn day, everyone within a mile of me is glad I changed that custom. Some customs require changing.
LikeLike
Our forefathers walked wearing almost nothing but a smile. Now we go all dressed up. I don’t know why such changes are lost to many of these people
LikeLike
Yes, we get all dressed up (well, some of us…the guy next door to me waters his lawn in nothing but jockey shorts. If he were David Beckham, I wouldn’t complain, but he’s a 70 year old fat Italian guy) and getting dressed isn’t so awful.
LikeLike
Haha. I would complain too if I were in your situation
LikeLiked by 1 person
I asked his wife once if maybe her husband could wear pants when he waters the lawn. She said she was late for a hair appointment.
LikeLike
I think you are out of luck.
LikeLike
Oh I realize that
LikeLike
The practice is mind-boggling to me.
LikeLike
It sure is
LikeLiked by 1 person
Difficult to believe we’re in the 21st century sometimes.
LikeLike
I have trouble believing we are living in the information age
LikeLike
I couldn’t agree more, and it’s certainly no way to start a happy marriage. The link you posted to Njoki’s post turns my stomach they are so vile the words written there. An ideal example of why some people have no real respect for their partners, nor indeed themselves.
Happy Sunday to you too my friend *smiles*
– s.u.t.Cloud
LikeLike
In the movie god on trial, one of the characters asks, how can so many people die? I ask, in the same spirit, how can so many people be so clueless?
Waves
LikeLiked by 1 person
I didn’t read the whole post you linked to. I had to cover my eyes and peek between my fingers to read what I did.
LikeLike
I read the whole post, & why does this guy in Kenya who never met Malia Obama before want to propose marriage to her? Why does he want to spend eternity with someone he doesn’t even know?
LikeLike
I think the idjit wanted publicity and he got it. I think it was even picked up by cnn
LikeLike
All that to get on TV
LikeLike
Yes. Maybe he thinks he will get a referral after that. You know a person might say that lawyer who wanted to marry a 16yr old
LikeLike
Well, he was on TV, his business will pick up
LikeLike
I doubt it. I would not give him any business. I think there is a term for such like him, busybody
LikeLike
In new York we say bottom feeder
LikeLike
I think that’s a better term. A scavenger sort of
LikeLike
Exactly
LikeLike
Speaking of bottom feeders, I once was offered a catfish and two hamsters by a young woman’s father to marry her. Of course, being the goldfish/gerbil kinda guy I am, I declined the offer. 🙂
LikeLike
Haha. Had you been offered goldfish would you have consented? Or you would move goal posts as I suspect?
LikeLike
Probably would have moved up to angel fish. 🙂
LikeLike
I thought so
LikeLike
Oy, I was referring to the Njoki Chege post about why it’s all the fat, lazy, nagging wives’ fault that their husbands cheat on them. It couldn’t possibly be because he has no integrity or that he’s an ass. It’s all the womenz fault.
I did go back and read the bride price post. WTH? Methinks someone has lost the plot. He’s in love with a sixteen year old girl he’s never even spoken to? I.am.sure. she’ll enjoy the sour milk.
LikeLike
Oh, well, women say “men cheat because they can” & men insist they cheat because their wives are lazy or deny them sex. It’s never all one & none of the other.
LikeLike
Perhaps. I view it a little differently, though. I don’t care if it’s the woman who cheats or the man who cheats I view it the same way. One thing I’ve learned over my lifetime is that no one makes anyone else do anything unless they’re using force or coercion. Someone else’ doesn’t drive me to commit adultery, or murder, or anything else. If you are married or in a committed monogamous relationship and you aren’t satisfied it’s time for a serious heart to heart. If that doesn’t work it’s time to end one relationship before entering another. That’s just my opinion, of course.
LikeLike
I’m with you. You’re with someone & it’s not working, close that account before you open a new one. Co-mingling of funds creates all kinds of trouble.
LikeLiked by 1 person
The government might get involved
LikeLike
Well, divorce is a legal matter, yeah.
LikeLike
I think some of the answers people give are simplistic.
LikeLike
I think she is raving mad. There are people who agree with her though.
LikeLike
It’s good you did that. You would have messed your Sunday
LikeLiked by 1 person
I find the idiotic tradition of buying ludicrously expensive jewelry to show your “engagement” to be little different than a bride price. it says nothing more than “looky, looky, how much I’m “worth””.
LikeLike
The bigger and more expensive the better. How else can one show off
LikeLike
Good one from Nietzsche. Also, Njoki is a nag!
LikeLike
Nietzsche hardly ever disappoints.
Well, I think she needs help
LikeLike
“I have found no good reason to justify bride price or dowry and I am not going to make exceptions when I decide to get married.”
Mak are you saying a bride price is still common in your country? This does not happen in the US…I’ve never known a single person who did bride price/dowry. Here a man is expected to buy his fiancee an engagement ring (doesn’t have to be expensive), and she also buys a ring for him that is given to him at the wedding. I can’t believe there are women you date who would demand a bride price or show you the door!
I read that post by Njoki Chege you linked, and have been left somewhat stunned and speechless by it. She seems, ahem, rather judgmental.
LikeLike
You will be shocked, Vi. They are the majority and not the exception.
Oh Njoki is quite the judgmental type
LikeLike
Oh dear. Njoki Chege is a product (no pun intended) of her own environment. From what I gather, she’s Nigerian. I once watched an interview on YouTube with Christopher Hitchens. He said there is an impulse for men to want to own women. One of the outcomes of this impulse was religion. “Men used religion to own women.”
I couldn’t agree more with the quote by Nietzsche.
LikeLike
Another video gem, Victoria. I luvs me some Hitchens on a Sunday.
LikeLike
Amen brother Jeff.
LikeLike
$A-eefin’-men$
LikeLike
lol — Thank the Dogs that not all men are like that.
LikeLike
Ah no, she is Kenyan. The rest of your comment I agree with.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I want something for getting married! Does it have to be a cow, or can I have a polo pony? Maybe an elephant, I’d love to have an elephant living in the garden. I should have insisted on a dowry, but it’s probably too late now.
What do very poor people get? A chicken? An egg and an incubator?
LikeLike
Two boxes of hard, aged raisins and an old, half eaten twinkie. That’s what I got anyway.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You seem to have got so much
LikeLike
He he. Inspired By The Divine, you are hilarious. Whichever divinity is inspiring you should be given a cookie or three.
LikeLike
Don’t forget the milk. 🙂
LikeLike
Pink, I think it is already late for you.
The poor still get sheep, goats and if they are lucky a thin calf.
LikeLike
I simply have one question about dowries (bride price). Is the customer satisfaction guaranteed? If not, it the unsatisfied consumer given a full refund? Just curious.
Much love and many naked hugs, my Nairobi brother! Have a terrific week! 🙂
LikeLike
There are no after sales service, customer satisfaction is not guaranteed and the conditions for returning goods once purchased stink to high heaven most people don’t even want to try.
Hugs brother
LikeLiked by 1 person
LMFAO! 🙂
LikeLike
But seriously, any woman who supports the dowry nonsense is not thinking. Getting dowry paid for you means that you are the property of that man. And from then on, some men understandably can’t understand why they have to still treat their wives as equals in the relationship. Because of this, women should be in the front-line protesting against dowry payments.
LikeLike
Joe, I still don’t understand why most women don’t see this as we do.
LikeLike
“What I take issue with is this lawyer thinking they are for sale and offers to pay livestock in exchange for her hand in marriage.”
He is muslim of course he thinks they are cattle. because in Islam they are. All women are subhuman, less than a man. All women are for sale.
LikeLike
Far from it, he ain’t Muslim. Just silly Kenyan. Happens here as the norm. If any of the women around here were reading this post, they would think I have lost it
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Well s t ick to the guns.
LikeLike
I think anyone else would be shocked were they to attend dowry negotiations. It is like buying a car from a second hand cars dealer
LikeLiked by 1 person
If you are/were raised to believe females are subhuman and inferior, like, for example, Aristotle believed, then you are going to have that mindset.
LikeLike
We are in 2015, we should have learnt something over the years.
LikeLike
Thankfully, many men have come to their empathetic senses and recognized the inhumanity of seeing male as superior. Progress is slow.
LikeLike
So are most men. 🙂
LikeLike
LOL — In “some” cases, slow is good. 😉
LikeLike
True dat. 😀
LikeLike
P.S. You were referring to slowing down when approaching a yellow traffic light, correct?
LikeLike
Now Jeff, anyone who’s watched the movie Starman knows that that when approaching a yellow traffic light, you put the pedal to the metal.
LikeLike
Great movie. I’ve not seen that in a while. Have to watch it again.
LikeLike
Watched it again last night. Also watched Paul, “again”. I got my dopamine fix.
Love that movie. 😀
LikeLike
“Paul”? Haven’t seen that one. Is it about Saul’s conversion after being hit on the head by a rock on the road to Damascus?
LikeLike
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_%28film%29
It’s a must see. Find a Red Box, buy a bottle of Merlot, and enjoy.
LikeLike
Will do. I love Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Pegg is writing the screen play for the next Star Trek movie.
LikeLike
I didn’t know that. How cool.
LikeLike
Star Trek Beyond is the tentative title.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow — it’s suppose to be released next year. http://www.treknews.net/2015/05/28/star-trek-2016-beyond/
Apparently Pegg is having to “rewrite” it because previous scripts were “too Star Trek-y”??? Errr
LikeLike
No. He was outraged by that quote. He said it’s taken completely out of context and isn’t at all what he meant. There’s a video clip of him on YouTube talking about it, and boy, he ain’t happy. Anyway, next year is the 50th anniversary of the first Trek series so the movie is timed to come out in celebration of that.
LikeLike
Apparently they want to appeal to a $bigger audience$.
http://screenrant.com/star-trek-3-beyond-script-orci-simon-pegg/
LikeLike
Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViBJUZP3MuM
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. 🙂
LikeLike
Just a sidenote: The article i shared never said Pegg said it. It came from Paramount Studios, apparently explaining why they fired the previous writer and director, Robert Orce.
LikeLike
Oh, I know. If I hadn’t come across that video though, I’d have thought he had. It was all over the internet that he’d said that. Star Trek is too Star Trek-y? They want to make money like the Avengers movies, but Star Trek isn’t that. Anyway, I was glad to hear Pegg say what he did in that video. I think the movie’s in good hands.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think so too. You’re gonna love “Paul”. It’s got fundies in it. 😀
LikeLike
It’s next in line in my Netflix que.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awesome!
LikeLike
Oops, I meant to write Roberto Orci.
Sorry Mak. Back OT.
Jeff we could take this to V-chat. 😀
LikeLike
No need to apologise. You are free to discuss anything here. The host welcomes all banter from his friends
LikeLiked by 1 person
“Tis why I love you. ❤
LikeLike
Very, very much! 🙂
LikeLike
Happy to know
LikeLike
Well, one of the reasons, anyway. 😀
LikeLike
Here, progress is slowed by women who support the practice too. So it is not just men, but women too.
LikeLike
Yeah, gee, I wonder why? 😉
LikeLike
Blimey if I know. I can’t understand what type of education people get here. I agree they know more than their grand parents but just to a point. On issues cultural or religious, they are at the same level or worse than their forefathers. At least when their forefathers asked for bride price, one can only think they knew why.
LikeLike
Like I mentioned earlier — if you are raised that way, and “holy” books and culture supports the mentality and practice, what do you expect? As Christopher Hitchens once said, there is a good reason why men men have fought tooth and nail against women’s emancipation.
LikeLike
I’ve always wondered how many goats, cows, horses, chickens I would be worth? /smirk
LikeLike
Sweetheart, we may have to point to the whole herd in the village. The price goes up if the woman is educated
LikeLiked by 1 person
ROFL I am 3 years from my doctorate in Psychology and have a bachelors in Information Technologies with a specialty in IT security. 🙂
Bah I’m too expensive… /sob
LikeLike
It would take a long time before your family would get a match who would afford the right number of cows. Maybe you would marry into a very rich family. That way, the cows would be converted to cars and apartment buildings
LikeLiked by 1 person
ROFL.. Maybe
LikeLike
Or you can elope with the man you love and say fuck culture. I think this is the best course of action
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your customs probably don’t allow multiple waves. Sarah and I are a package anyway. But most men have headaches from one woman, two would make him insane. Enough to say insanitybytes22 /smirk
LikeLike
Customary marriages are potentially polygamous. This is in the constitution. I know of a guy who had 85 wives.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/danger-akuku-dies-leaves-100-widows/story?id=11794693
LikeLike