Thales, who first inquired into this sort of matter, believed God to be a Spirit that made all things of water;
Anaximander, that the gods were always dying and entering into life again; and that there were an infinite number of worlds;
Anaximines, that the air was God, that he was procreate and immense, always moving
Anaxagoras the first, was of opinion that the description and manner of all things were conducted by the power and reason of an infinite spirit.
Alcmon gave divinity to the sun, moon, and stars, and to the soul.
Pythagoras made God a spirit, spread over the nature of all things, whence our souls are extracted
Parmenides, a circle surrounding the heaven, and supporting the world by the ardour of light.
Empedocles pronounced the four elements, of which all things are composed, to be gods;
Protagoras had nothing to say, whether they were or were not, or what they were
Democritus was one while of opinion that the images and their circuitions were gods; another while, the nature that darts out those images; and then, our science and intelligence.
Speusippus, the nephew of Plato, makes God a certain power governing all things, and that he has a soul.
Zeno says ’tis the law of nature, commanding good and prohibiting evil; which law is an animal; and takes away the accustomed gods, Jupiter, Juno, and Vesta
Diogenes Apolloniates, that ’tis air. Zenophanes makes God round, seeing and hearing, not breathing, and having nothing in common with human nature.
Aristo thinks the form of God to be incomprehensible, deprives him of sense, and knows not whether he be an animal or something else
Diagoras and Theodoras flatly denied that there were any gods at all
Sir Isaac Newton He is called the Lord God, the Universal Emperor–that the word God is relative, and relates itself with slaves–and that the Deity is the dominion or the sovereignty of God, not over his own body, as those think who look upon God as the soul of the world, but over slaves
Hart makes god the ground of being
And you still a find a believer calling an igtheist arrogant for saying god is a word that hasn’t been coherently defined and thus talk of its or their existence, is really a chasing after the wind!
Note: The above are taken from the Apology for Raymond Sebond except Isaac Newton and Hart’s conception of god[s]
Love this. But thank Jeebus for creationists who have revealed the TRUE god to us…..Or, is that the Muslims? No. Wait. It’s the Hindus. No. Wait. It’s the Jews. No. Oh, fuck it already. Great post, my friend.
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as the last prophet, I will gladly admit that, until I can be told what god is in a way that the definition doesn’t involve a contradiction, there are no gods
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Agreed.
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Have a theist friend who claims there’s only one “god” and all the religions that exist just have different ways of worshiping this one “god.” Of course, most religions would say this is bullshit and that it is THEIR god that is real and THEIR way of worshiping it is the ONLY way to worship it. Thus leaving “god” an undefined, human construct that is meaningless as it is without any sort of cohesive description. It’s an ever morphing word that means whatever people want it to mean whenever they need it to mean what they want it to mean.
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what god is changes with the person describing it. A philosopher and a fraud like Chopra makes god a quantum field, my ignorant grandmother makes god a person, just a bigger person
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Allah was the Arabian moon god and his temple was in Mecca. Coincidence?
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Yeah. Must be. Otherwise Muslims simply borrowed an older god to make theirs. Now THAT would never happen. 🙂
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Yup and it’s why I did an entire six part series on the origins of Allah complete with archaeological, scientific and historic references.
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OOPS! Careful with that. Sounds logical, well-argued, and sensible. Allahites like to stone people who behave in such ways. (Allahites! I likes that. Gonna use it all the time now.)
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Me too Allahites have Allahitis and Allahtosis!
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Awesome. 😀 Their true founder was Allahbabba and not Mo.
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hahaha
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Hahaha, you must always add pbuh
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Hahaha
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Allahites also, when it isn’t possible to behead or stone, dish out insults
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as they have the one true god, I don’t think they could have borrowed a god. They made a special one
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Now that explains why they are always looking out for the moon
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How dare you not believe in any of their Gods. It’s obvious they exist. You can see it everywhere.
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GC, you are right, their gods. No one should be expected to believe any god on their say so.
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But, but, but, the Bible says except you ask Jesus to come inside you, and receive the Holy Ghost, you will never know (in the biblical sense) the true Gods, nor understand what it feels like to be fucked by the Holy Ghost and feel Jesus come inside you.
Sheesh, some people just can’t get it through their thick skull that the Christian gods are the true Gods, and their horniness is clearly defined right there in the Bible.
“Behold, I come quickly.” Rev. 22:12
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“Behold, I come quickly.” Rev. 22:12 “But not without Viagra.” Rev. 22:13
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lmao
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I don’t know about you, Neuro, but I’d take my chances on a little guy in a divine bathrobe who shoots lightening bolts from his fingers. . . It would do it for me! . .. .cackle, cackle. . .
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😀 Hee Haw!!!!
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Hehe — I’m with you, Carmen, and his charge never runs low. The eveready cubby little guy in a divine bathroom. Oh, you sexy thang.
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Mo, in one of the hadiths is aid to have stood for 4 hours. I think he must have been on viagra
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if I wanted a man or a god who cums quickly I’d have kept the first loser I dated! No staying power at all. Dude could have 5 or 6 orgasms before his first grunt. Felt like American pie bro, just like American pie!
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Oh joy.
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A god who comes quickly means you get to do other important things. You may never cum though
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Ahh but I’d rather cum as well. It’s the only time you may hear me yell oh god…
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Oh yes, everyone must cum
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Talking of holy ghost coming inside a person, what load did Mary take? And how did the HG know it was that time of the month? Many questions and no answers
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Now can we summon a deity council of all the believers to sort out all this chaos? Great point, my Nairobi friend. Now you may take a much-deserved rest! 😉
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it would be impossible. Constantine was unsuccessful in the 4th century. It can’t happen now with everyone trying to create a million dollar empire for god
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So true! Greed surpasses belief! 🙂
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Maybe they could decide which is the richest god
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That would be the Catholics. They have tons of gold and money, some stolen from the Jews under Hitler and some stolen through Tithing.
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if they can vote and agree, then all goddites can become Katlicks
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Brilliant idea, O Sanctified One! It could be a “winner-take-all” contest!! 🙂
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Oh yes. No schism would be allowed forthwith
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True! And the deity with the most wealth automatically gets everyone else’s wealth. The people would never have to contribute to their coffers of greed ever again! 🙂
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They will thank us for organising the council
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And praise you for your benevolent wisdom! 🙂
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maybe even make me a god
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Silly me! I thought you already were! 😉
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i am pope awaiting deification
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I’ll correct that oversight this weekend! My purpose on earth is to make you appear as the most deity-reigning one of all! 🙂
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This is brilliant! I’d love to hear more of this.
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keep it here
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What many of these ancient descriptions of god(s) have in common is the natural human desire to explain things that aren’t completely understood. Before we knew that the sun is just a concentration of ordinary matter which reached sufficient mass to ignite nuclear fusion (like every other star), many of us thought it was an all-powerful god.
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The sun IS a GOD!!! How dare you say it isn’t!!! You damn atheist, you!!!! 🙂
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My mistake… lol!
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The Sun forgives you. 🙂
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The suns wife the moon however does not! She is jealous because he was looking at her husband!!
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Hell hath no fury like a jealous moon scorned.
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Continuing my bad and uncreative habit of quoting from the amazing American television show “True Detective ” (Season One):
Detective Thomas Papania: You figure it’s all a scam, huh? All them folks? They just wrong?
Rustin Cohle: Oh yeah! Been that way since one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey, “He said for you to give me your fucking share.” People… so god damn frail they’d rather put a coin in the wishing well than buy dinner.
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i like
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I respect anyone, however, who worshiped the sun as a god. They could see it
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For such a serious fellow, Mak, you sure attract some comedians! 🙂
But of course, THEY are the true gods!!
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LOL — see, Carmen, that’s what happens when you spend too much time reading fundagelical comments everyday. They start to rub off on you. 😉
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You know I love the comedians. They are a great lot
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So many gods! How do I know which one is the one true? Oh, wait, not supposed to ask any questions. How sure are they about their one true god, if they supress any intelligent inquiry? Oh, wait, that was another question. I’m just not cut out for this god stuff.
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all gods are the true god. The difference is location. Location, location and location
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So, if I shift my weight from one ass cheek to the other, I will encounter another god?
That seems somehow appropriate 🙂
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don’t say that aloud. In a world where people have had gods for every artisan, disease and weather, I wouldn’t be surprised if there is a god for each cheek
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My left ass cheek god is greater than yours!
I don’t want to hear any different! I might get insulted! 😉
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Shhh! Don’t say it aloud
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If you shift your weight to the center of your ass, you’ll experience a HOLE new god. 🙂
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A hole god. I like that!
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And if he sits on a stick shift like that he will discover “God Damn” and his partner “That hurts”. 😀
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hahahaha
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😀
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It will be impossible to count how many hole gods exist
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There are many B-hole gods, butt (get it, BUTT) only one god is an A-hole god: Izzy Snuckenpuss. Few know him, but I swear, he’s real. He told me so himself in a dream I had once when I was 8. $Amen$
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Why do I suspect this dream was wet
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Wet and a bit sandy too.
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I for one would love to know who thought out those Greek names. I can’t even pronounce half of them. No wonder they thought there was a god. Mistaken identities it seems. 😆
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Hahaha Sonel. You have made my afternoon.
They thought themselves gods eh!
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LOL! Glad to hear that Mak. 😀
Yeah, I used to know a lot of people like that. They had funny names too. 😆
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I think we should be naming kids after these Greek sages instead of the shady bible characters
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Whahahahah! It could work, but knowing kids and some people who can’t even pronounce my name correctly, they would just shorten the names. Take for instance “Anaximander”. They would either call him Anax, or Anaxi or even Mander. Yuck! LOL!
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There are people who couldn’t pronounce my name correctly. It has four letters only, two of which are vowels!
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Now that’s funny Mak! Clearly they were dumb, deaf and stupid. 😆
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I think I agree with your assessment
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hahahahaha!
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Look, we’ve already settled this – the divine almighty is my Dog – born of a virgin to save all canines! The people you quote were born before the Great Revelations found in the Book of Lhasa Apso.
We lesser mortals cannot expect an afterlife in the Canine Heaven, but we can live a better life here on earth if we just treat Dogs as they demand. Join the pack!
Now I gotta go – Dog insists on grooming – I hear and obey!
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I’m not canine but I do like doggy style. Am I saved to? I do pray that way often..
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Halleluiah, you have seen the light!
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Yeah me! 🙂
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Can we pray together some time, sister Michele? 🙂
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yeah a fresh convert! 🙂
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That’s me. I’m fresh, and a convert. 🙂
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Dog requires condoms 😛
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Decorated with colored doggie biscuits drawn on them. Woof! Woof!
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Sweet, now hopefully you can maintain prayer for 20 to 30 minutes at a time at least. Longer is better 🙂
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lmao
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Indeed. Longer, deeper prayers are much more satisfying for all involved. 🙂
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Agreed
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This is why most prayers are not answered. Some people pray for too long
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“Hey, Holy Spirit! Is that a prayer yer stickin’ in me or a tooth pick?” Virgin Mary, 9 months B.C.
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That’s a long prayer. Dog has other things to do
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Nah dog knows because dog also spends 20 to 30 minutes knotted up in worship.
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Haha hahaha
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I will be presiding pastor
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I will get a dog. This way, I may get admission in the only heaven worth visiting
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[…] help his cause. To Aristotle, the number of gods could be 47 or 55. This is not all for Diagoras and Theodoras flatly denied that there were any gods at all and many other ancient philosophers did not agree on the nature of […]
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