well, very difficult, maybe harder than applying for a job and especially if you are an atheist.
That mind boggling oddity called the Creation Museum run by Ken Ham is asking for volunteers.
And because I am not applying, I will answer the questions the best way we know how
1. How does one get to heaven when they die?
If you are Muslim, you can go on a pegasus. As a Christian, I don’t know if they have heavenly transport
2. Why do you believe YOU will go to heaven when you die?
I have no such belief, but if there is a heaven, I believe the god in charge would allow all in
3. What would cause anyone to go to hell?
Believing in the wrong god when the god in charge of hell is an asshole
4. Do you believe suffering in hell is eternal?
I think the person who asked this question is deranged
5. What do you believe to be the main difference between Christianity and other religions?
Christians, Catholics especially, wear torture devices around their necks as a sign of devotion
6. Do you believe the earth is thousands of years old or millions of years or does it matter? Explain your thoughts.
Is this still being debated in 2015?
7. “I believe that the ONLY legitimate marriage sanctioned by God and given in Scripture is the joining of one natural born man and one natural born woman. All other unions are contrary to clear Biblical teaching.” Do you agree with this statement or disagree?
Which is this? Marrying the girl you just raped? Or having as many wives/ concubines as you can? Or having the husband of the woman you desire killed? I am spoilt for choice.
8. Please provide a brief statement regarding your Christian Testimony of Salvation.
I was sleeping then one day I woke up and so all this religion was man made. That was my best day, I can’t recall what day it was.
9. Please provide a brief statement of your position regarding Creation.
I only know mould/ transform
10. Please provide a brief statement about your position as relates to the inspiration, inerrancy (100% accuracy) of the Bible as the ONLY true Word of God.
Negative. It is not inerrant and it is not a word of a god so far as I can tell
11. How would you respond to someone who said “The Koran or the Book of Mormon are equally the Word of God.”?
Who gives a fuck
12. Please confirm that you have a valid email address with regular access and confirm that you will periodically check email for forms and information from AiG.
It would be great if AiG does not contact me.
Try your luck friends, you may just be granted an opportunity to serve as a volunteer in a madhouse.
No. 7 is brilliant. Is this really their questions?
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Yes, the link I am told is legit
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I refuse to venture in Ham’s world… It’s bad enough he was born in my state!
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I never go there. I just thought these questions were hilarious, especially for volunteers
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He got in so much trouble over the paid position questions, I guess he thinks he can now just go the full hog and not be damned.
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What shocks me the most is that people in this age make contributions to build an ark! They need help with their finances
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Didn’t Noah do it with his sons, no machinery, and no financing?
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You know and fill it with animals in a few days or was it weeks?
Ken Ham hasn’t prayed well enough I think
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Everytime I hear his accent I think, “Something they can’t blame on us! Maybe there is a god.”
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Haha. Nice one
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Now he’s taken up residence in the U.S. It’s the longest “walkabout” ever.
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The man has even failed at that… Walkabout don’t end, you just keep going, wandering about
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Well, technically he’s still wandering about in the intellectual wilderness.
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Snap!
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I’m assuming that they are looking for volunteers now since they can’t screen applicants for real jobs for their religion.
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But that shouldn’t be hard for him I thought?
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Not quite sure what you mean.
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I think I got distracted and posted the comment before finishing. I meant to say getting volunteers should not be hard for him given he has quite a good following
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one would think, but many volunteers don’t stick around for long if there is any real work involved. It also seems that Ham may have a following, but most is online, not so much within working distance. and don’t forget the tendency for TrueChristians(tm) to really hate other TrueChristians(tm).
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That’s one of the things I love most about TrueChristians, the way they hate each other. Fun stuff. 🙂
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It is the religion of love, that is how they show their love
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That was my thought exactly!
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I liked that one too. and your answer Noel is just perfect.
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I think these people are not serious or don’t want to be taken seriously
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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I LOVE Ken Ham! One could not make up better satire than the shit this guy says and does if one tried. the guy is a living punch line to a million jokes. He’s the gift whose deliberate ignorance of reality refuses to let him stop giving. What a dick head this guy is.
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And he has followers
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Many. Crazy world.
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Does he really have many, though? I have a notion they are good at inflating numbers.
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Right. Though, there are many folks who visit his idiotic creation museum. They’re probably not all followers, however. I’d certainly go take a look see at the place if I had the chance.
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I don’t know really but I think if there are crazy enough people to donate to build the ark or visit the museum, getting enough crazies to volunteer should not be a problem
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Great comic relief, thank you! I especially liked these two answers:
“Christians, Catholics especially, wear torture devices around their necks as a sign of devotion”
“Who gives a fuck”
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I thought after a busy week, people need rest
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I went there to fill it out, but I was stymied by that damned statement of faith. I can’t bring myself to click “Yes” even in the name of mockery.
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Why would they need volunteers to agree to all those things really?
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“I believe that the ONLY legitimate marriage sanctioned by God and given in Scripture is the joining of one natural born man and one natural born woman” – So then, C-section births are exempt from marriage?
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Brilliant point. Love to hear Ken’s apologetic answer to that question.
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If he has an answer, it is not in Genesis
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If Genesis is a guide, the only marriage Ken Ham should recognize is arranged marriages unless he can demonstrate Adam or Eve had a choice on their mates
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Apparently Adam did, because Genesis 2:18-20 reports God tried to hook Adam up with birds and animals, but no suitable “helper” was found.
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I forgot Adam was made such offers
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No marriage for MacDuff.
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