Thank you evolution for making me a man

I know most if not all of you are aware of the three blessings, a prayer said by Jews in the morning.  The prayer goes

“Blessed are you, Hashem, King of the Universe, for not having made me a Gentile.”

“Blessed are you, Hashem, King of the Universe, for not having made me a slave.”

Blessed are you, Hashem, King of the Universe, for not having made me a woman.”

This is not our interest today. We are interested in a more interesting one found in The Territorial Imperative by R. Ardrey. He writes

The daytime hippo is another thing. His flesh, I must admit, is not too bad to eat; but beyond that I can think of no virtue in all his vast carcass. He is ugly; his eyes are ugly; his mouth can exist for no purpose other than to provide the nightmares of children with appropriate furniture; his body resembles a gigantic bathtub. He is the idealised synthesis of all things ugly, and perhaps the perfection of that synthesis viewed through a hippo’s goggling eyes, is hippo beauty. But I am not a hippo and I see nothing through his eyes. Neither can I engage myself with his ways or identify myself with his purposes. He is the most graceless of beings, the most fathomless of idiot souls, a kind of prince among morons. I praised evolution for making me a man and not a Ugandan kob, but the most moving of my thanksgivings must be reserved for that genetic fortune which did not make me a crocodile who must lie on some sunny sandbank somewhere, day after day, month after month, looking at hippos.

About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

83 thoughts on “Thank you evolution for making me a man

  1. archaeopteryx1 says:

    I see you found it!


  2. Thank you evolution for making me an atheist and a cannibal. $Amen$

    Liked by 1 person

  3. There was a lot of controversy in the scientific community when Audrey published his cutting edge book. He challenged the status quo (who thought human behavior was fundamentally distinct from animal behavior).

    I wished evolution had made me a beloved pet, like a cat or dog. Humans tend to treat them better than they treat each other.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. I look forward to it.


  5. john zande says:

    I read recently that Buddhists (whom I thought were quite egalitarian) believe the wicked will be reincarnated as a woman.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Peter says:

    So what would a gentile female slave pray?

    ‘God why do you hate me so much?’

    Liked by 5 people

  7. You know, I can think of a lot worse things to be than an enslaved hippo-like gentile woman… for instance:

    A feral, gluttonous, pig-like corporate executive (Jew, Gentile, or otherwise) who fouls everyone and everything around him solely for the sake of self-indulgence.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Charity says:

    Btw, Noel, I’ve been thinking about you lately. I hope all is well with you. Sometimes I wish we were neighbors so that I could just pick your brain. You talk about some really great topics. I great conversations with you and other heathens on line. In my ideal world, Arch would be like a grandpa to my kids. My seven year old would love Ark’s passion for nature and knack for photography. You would be my kids’ uncle Noel. My eleven year old would speak endlessly with you about literature, philosophy and world religions. Ruth would be Auntie Ruth and spoil my babies rotten and they would absolutely adore her. And Victoria…well, Victoria is the sister I’ve always wanted. Sorry, I’m a little emotional. It’s been a rough year. I also just had my fifth intense massage in just the last couple of weeks. My emotions are just really “out there” right now. I just want to tell all of you that I love you. I really do. You remind me that there are some good people in this world. You show me that this world is so beautiful and amazing. Because of you all, I’m not the lone atheist. I have friends all over this planet. You all make my life better and better every day.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. thanks, evolution, that makes me a woman who doesn’t have her genitals out there for a good…twist .


  10. shelldigger says:

    There are days I look around me and feel ashamed for being a man.

    There are days I look around me and feel ashamed for being a human.

    There are days though, I look around me and am grateful to be alive, a human, and a man.

    I suppose I’m confused somehow…

    +1 for what Charity said. Well maybe I don’t want a drunken Arch around the kids 😉 but it is generally a great community we have here at WP and abroad. It is nice to have you all as friends and acquaintances.

    Liked by 1 person

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