To all my religious friends


And especially enemies who over the years have felt offended by my tweets, blog posts that are critical to religion, I want to tell you i am sorry and that I plan to continue doing just that.

The good news however, is that I have today joined a new religion that I didn’t know existed. I am an ordained minister as we speak and I will be blessing every tweet or blog post I send to protect it from your funny prayers.

There is peace that comes with finding the right religion and today I found it.

May the Dude be with you all.

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About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

27 thoughts on “To all my religious friends

  1. Ubi Dubium says:

    The Dude abides.

    I’m already clergy, from the Church of the FSM. So I’m qualified to say “May you be Touched by His Noodly Appendages”. RAmen.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. judyt54 says:

    I’ll have what he’s having. With hot sauce.
    And vanilla icecream on the side.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Nan says:

    I gave up “joining” several years back but I will (non-monetarily) support you in your new position. Praise dudeism! 👍

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Great religion! I do think I will sign up!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. “The Church of the Latter-Day Dude”

    Love it! I’m already a reverend for a secular church, and like you can perform marriages including same-sex marriages. But, I long to be a dude!

    Like

  6. mugo says:

    I take it then that our go-to response to any admonishment by the theists should be: “That’s just, like, your opinion, man”.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. jilldennison says:

    Since I am NOT religious, you have not offended me. Carry on!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Barry says:

    I’d like to congratulate you on your decision to join a religion 😊

    I had a quick look at their principles and found they’re not incompatible with my own or the religion I follow, and as my religion doesn’t discourage membership of multiple religions, I thought why not join? Describing myself as a Quaker Dude has a nice ring to it. But…

    Then I discovered that they have ordained priests. In my teens I made a conscious choice to never join any group that has a privileged or special class. A religion with ordained priests certainly falls into that category, especially one that gives priests the authority to conduct marriages but not other members.

    So while gaining membership is easier than my exiting religion (existing members need to be satisfied that my principles are not directly opposed to those of the religion), I’m sorry that I won’t be joining you in membership.

    One thing I didn’t discover is whether or not dudism allows members to belong to other religions as well. If it doesn’t, then even if they abolish the priesthood, I’d be unable to join.

    Other than my personal objection to an ordained priesthood it seems to be an ideal religion.

    Like

    • makagutu says:

      Well, as the grand dude of this branch I am opening, multiple religions, like dual passports are allowed.

      How are you doing my friend? Getting better I can guess since I have seen you in the blogosphere a lot more now.

      Like

  9. Barry says:

    Just the issue of an ordained priesthood to solve…

    Seems like I might be on the mend. Instead of being in a zombie-like state for 20 plus hours a day and sleeping the rest, I’m sleeping 20 hours a day and being more or less normal the rest. Each day a bit less of the sleep and a bit more of the normal 😁

    Give me a week and I’ll possibly be back to irritating theists and atheists alike 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  10. notabilia says:

    Your blog post, if it was posted on this neoliberal trainwreck called Twitter, would have run afoul of their alleged new guidelines, which make it a global thoughtcrime to insult anybody’s religion. Anything else is basically deemed no problem, but “insulting” a religious person is the sole locus of global speech crime.
    A. Religions are an insult to humanity.
    B. Religions deserve all the insults they can get.
    C. Twitter bans insults to religion.
    Conclusion A: Therefore, ergo, Twitter is a religion.
    Conclusion B. Therefore, Twitter deserves every insult it can get.
    Go, Makagutu.

    Like

  11. shelldigger says:

    Dude! I love it! Pass the bong man so I can like, get into it.

    I have been a member of this church for some time now, I just didn’t know it 😉

    Like

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