A tribute to old friends

and those we have lost along the way sort of.

as i was going to bed last night, it occurred to me there are bloggers who have disappeared from our lives quietly without a trace. What happened to them? I will just name a few that I can remember off head.

There was Jericho Brisbane and his beautiful wife. Does Nate still blog? And Victoria (Neuronotes) last Swarn (?) wrote about her, she was planning a move or something. Then there was Daniela of Lantern Post. One very lovely person from New Zealand (I miss her 😦 ). There is Holly, the other V and Silence of Mind- what happened to him? Did he get arrested or something? I never met a person so repulsive as he was. And then there was Emmy of unbuttonedorundone what happened to her? And where is Ruth? Sonel, her of great south African photos and sites (Ark is no match for hers 🙂 )

I still miss myatheistlife who left us too soon. He was such a brilliant young man.

Most of all, I miss archaeopteryx1 that old fossil who could not be persuaded to move his blog to wordpress even when the site that had been hosting it before was no longer active. This fossil was a kind man, sometimes acerbic and I know he could get into people’s nerves but he was the first person who I had lengthy conversations with once I started writing on this spot.

And finally, to the friends new and old who grace this humble spot, gracias.

I think I should schedule a post to report my demise, you know the way Moses writes of his death and burial in the bible. Something in that class.

Happy week everyone.

In other news, a friend shared this link with me this morning. The similarity with Christianity is unmistakable.

About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

52 thoughts on “A tribute to old friends

  1. Violet says:

    Hello Mak! I saw this post and had to reply, as I was also recently reflecting on the many, many friends here I had from 2014-2017. I still think of Arch almost daily, and often remember MAL, Rough Seas, Victoria, Ruth, Charity, and so many others who helped me along the way (including yourself). Every now and then I come back and read the blogs of those still writing, and it gives me a lot of comfort knowing they’re still in the world thinking deep thoughts. I find my real life has a better balance if I don’t use the internet too much, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss my old online friends who I always considered to be true friends.

    It’s Xmas and I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday, and also, I’m giving you a standing ovation for finishing your paper for grad school. That is an enormous accomplishment and I’m so proud of you!

    hugs and love,


  2. Yo. Hey this was a nice post. Sorry I was offline when you penned it, way back when. But to answer your musings, I can fill you in on where at least one of the people on your list went…

    All in all, I shuttered Jericho Brisance about four years ago. I had already deleted my Facebook account, and I killed my other social media accounts as well. Basically became a socially analog human for all that time. Truth be told though, I’ve lived a fairly hermit-like existence, with little connection to people outside of work.

    In the real world, this all sort of coincided with a few things. Before deconversion, essentially our entire lives was embedded in the church and faith. The social attrition surrounding my deconversion was progressive. Over time, it wound up being a fairly complete social extinction event. I had one last holdout friend, and old pal of 25 years. But in not so many words, that friendship eventually came to an ungraceful terminus too.

    Blogging for me had originally been to communicate passively with friends who wanted to know my reasons for leaving the faith. It then became a new world for connecting with great folks having similar experiences. But losing that last buddy, it felt like my blog was threatening to become a place for venting the darker side of my experience in a way that wouldn’t help anybody, much less my self. I didn’t want it to become a proving ground for grievances and such.

    Sometimes, it just takes time. Eventually, and hopefully, we regain our ability to interact with people on healthy terms. And I hope that’s where my head is these days. Now 7 years past my own personal deconversion, and a good 4 years past the social extinction event. Things are better in a lot of ways, so that’s good.

    Overall though, I think sometimes blogging for deconverts is a really important part of leaving faith. But deconverting requires a fixation on questions of faith. Once you are out, you remain fixated on how wrong the faith was. Sooner or later, letting go means letting go of the fixation. And that can mean letting go of blogging, if its keeping you “in the zone”. That was the case for me. But now I hope to blog a bit more broadly on things that hit my mind.

    You know. Random thoughts. 🙂


    • Nan says:

      Really appreciate this comment as you were on my list of “followed” blogs for a very long time. I finally decided you had quit blogging so, regrettably, I deleted you. (Oh, that sounds so ominous!) At least now I know what happened.

      It’s good to know you are doing well. Will look forward to any “random thoughts” you care to share in the future. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • makagutu says:

      Hello Matt,
      This is so good to hear and may I say welcome back. Hope family is alright.
      I know what you mean about the fixation on faith and blogging. At least what has kept me not dwelling on it most of the time is my varied interests from cycling to reading and sometimes to clowning.
      And luckily for me, most of my friendships survived my deconversion. It’s one of those things that they had to accept and they stopped trying to bring me to the lawd and I have left them to worship whatever rocks their boats.
      Hope to see you a lot more.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Carmen says:

    * she grins and waves to Matt *

    Hope all is well in your corner of the world, Mak!!

    Liked by 1 person

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