King James Version (KJV)
“The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.”
Awww. Sounds so sweet.
Until you remember that wolves and lions can have rabies, and that rabies routinely jumps species, from beast to humans. Which means that heaven would be in constant danger of a rabies epidemic, which could then easily wipe out everyone there, including the angels and the six-headed beasts.
Come to think of it: what if this has already happened? What if, soon after Jesus ascended to heaven (circa 33AD), a massive rabid outbreak up there killed everyone there, including Abraham, Moses, Elijah, and even YHWH himself?
It might sound like an outrageous idea at first. But it makes perfect sense, if you think about it. It would explain why The Second Coming has not yet happened: the son of man long got bit by a rabid wolf. It would explain why angels no longer visit humans: every single one of them is long dead. It would explain why The Rapture remains elusive: The King of Kings got taken out by a virus centuries ago.
Christians might scoff at this idea. But given the many failed end of world prophecies, they should at least take this idea for a spin: what if a single viral species nuked everyone in heaven, millennia ago?