Of a plague in heaven


 

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Isaiah 11:6

King James Version (KJV)

“The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them.”

Awww. Sounds so sweet.

Until you remember that wolves and lions can have rabies, and that rabies routinely jumps species, from beast to humans. Which means that heaven would be in constant danger of a rabies epidemic, which could then easily wipe out everyone there, including the angels and the six-headed beasts.

Come to think of it: what if this has already happened? What if, soon after Jesus ascended to heaven (circa 33AD), a massive rabid outbreak up there killed everyone there, including Abraham, Moses, Elijah, and even YHWH himself?

It might sound like an outrageous idea at first. But it makes perfect sense, if you think about it. It would explain why The Second Coming has not yet happened: the son of man long got bit by a rabid wolf. It would explain why angels no longer visit humans: every single one of them is long dead. It would explain why The Rapture remains elusive: The King of Kings got taken out by a virus centuries ago.

Christians might scoff at this idea. But given the many failed end of world prophecies, they should at least take this idea for a spin: what if a single viral species nuked everyone in heaven, millennia ago?

About Joseph Wahome

Used to the quirky side of life: been there, done that, got burnt, got redeemed, sticking the neck out again, but this time, with some titanium necklaces.

9 thoughts on “Of a plague in heaven

  1. makagutu says:

    Heaven’s population decimated by a case of rabies. This is plausible

    Liked by 1 person

  2. judyt54 says:

    no stranger than anything else proposed, including guardian angels stalking your every waking moment, heavenly hosts singing their hearts out, or Je-zus speaking to all those fervent ministers.

    It would also explain why it’s so quiet Up There.

    Like

  3. basenjibrian says:

    What would be the PURPOSE of a predator species if they no longer hunted pray Would the canines and fangs all rot away? The wolves and lions seem “designed” to be predators physically and mentally.

    Like

    • judyt54 says:

      The purpose of any viable animal of any stripe is survival long enough to ensure another generation. Butterflies are the most purposeless and most perfect example: Monarchs hatch from their chrysalis, find a mate, lay eggs, and die. This happens over and over, all summer, and then all through the fall they carry this on as they move westward to Mexico, mate, lay eggs, and die, and the next generation flies a few hundred miles and repeats the same process.
      Every living thing does the same thing, to their own music. it’s all about perpetuating the species.
      Each animal has its own way of surviving, and if a predator species stopped hunting, they’d starve to death. they don’t have any other means of survival, and need to be stronger and faster than the prey they need to eat. It’s all evolution,survival of the fittest, and what works for one species sends them down that path, and what works for a different species sends them in a different direction.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Barry says:

        The Baha’i have a four step rule they use when interpreting such writings. In my part of the world, I think most Christians unconsciously do something similar, but it’s a real pity that evangelicals and fundamentalists almost never do something similar. Yet it appears to me so much of the content of the Bible is indeed symbolic/metaphoric. The Baha’i four step rule is:

        Step 1: If impossible, then not literal.
        Why is the literal reading not possible here?

        Step 2: If not literal, then figurative.
        What is the comparison or analogy expressed here?

        Step 3: If figurative, then symbolic.
        What qualities does this symbol represent?

        Step 4: If symbolic, then spiritual and social.
        Who (or what) represents those qualities?

        Like

  4. mainavikta says:

    Si you make your writings into an animated series? Awesome stuff.

    Like

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