News from the New World


Is that maybe we don’t need a virus after all. This news is brought to you by one very bright scientist Hulk Hogan. He had this to say

Maybe we don’t need a vaccine,” Hogan wrote. “Maybe we need to take this time of isolation from the distractions of the world and have a personal revival where we focus on the ONLY thing in the world that really matters. Jesus.

Hindoos, Atheists, Muslims, Voodooists, Jews were not asked to comment on whether they thought Jesus is the answer.

In the meantime, mortal souls are busy working on trial vaccines, ventilators, masks, coffins and other material things that are making a real difference in the fight against the novel virus.

Depending on your inclinations, I urge you to keep social distancing practices, basic hygiene, exercise and if you are so inclined, to pray.

About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

46 thoughts on “News from the New World

  1. judyt54 says:

    just had a grim thought: perhaps, indirectly, this is the Christian’s “End Times’ coming at last. Think about it: all those churches open, welcoming, all those people crowding in, singing, clustered together…breathing…And a week or so later many of them have gone to meet their Maker.
    A week or so later manymany more of them are following.

    I realized they envisioned something like a repeat performance of Mary’s Assumption into heaven, so this could come as a shock to them–

    Liked by 1 person

  2. john zande says:

    Didn’t know that blonde idiot was a jesus freak.

    Like

  3. Ron says:

    “You sit there and you thump your Bible, and you say your prayers, and it didn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your psalms; talk about John 3:!6 . . . Austin 3:16 says, ‘I just whipped your ass!'”– “Stone Cold” Steve Austin

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I remember way back when Hulk Hogan had a “professional” wrestling match with an obscure opponent named Atheist Agitator. Hogan, who was very big and strong but slow, had a hard time trying to catch the nimble quick-footed Agitator. Frustrated, The Hulkster pulled out his huge crucifix in an attempt to subdue the irreverent Atheist. But, as he raised the weighty cross high into the air, Agitator delivered a swift kick to Hogan’s family jewels causing Hogan to drop to his knees and pray for mercy. When Agitator maneuvered behind Hulk and put him in a choke hold, the match seemed over. However, the referee – who was a devout Christian fundamentalist – intervened and declared a disqualifying foul which gave Hogan a technical victory.

    Afterwards in a TV interview, Hogan admitted that he had underestimated his opponent but attributed the outcome to his faith in Jesus. The Agitator said that the match was “rigged,” and the next day he published a report detailing the referee’s long history of molesting adolescent boys.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. basenjibrian says:

    Sorry Maka. I really should NOT pepper my comments with references to extremely obscure (and somewhat old) American science fiction series.

    The Ori and the Ancients were two races of super smart aliens who “ascended” into a “higher realm”. They also helped create and spread humanity throughout the universe.

    The Ori were the villains. They chose the path of “religion” and used the faith of their believers as a power source in their war with the “science” path brethren, the Ancients.

    More than you EVER wanted or needed to know. I am SUCH A NERD.

    Like

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