Searching for Hydri

Searching for Hydri

N.B: For a related note, see Waiting for Hydri

 

Captain’s log: 17th Megan, Cosmic Year 208GX

 

Cosmic position: Upper Lagrangian Point (L3), assumed after sling-shorting from L5 in the Terra-Helios architecture. From L3, planet earth is neatly eclipsed by the Solar.

 

Space Vessel: Dreadnought, class 4.5, with an M.D.C. hull armor rating of 12. Space vessel christened “Discovery”.

 

Mission Payload: 6 Persons, 435 Terra-KGs (TKGs) in Mass, and a bionic atmosphere of 645 TKGs.

 

Mission Objective: Ascertaining, once and for all, the existence, or non-existence, of a presence, an entity – (a being?) – commonly referred to as Hydri.

 

Mission Profile: Tracking down, analyzing, and documenting any and each single instance of electromagnetic interference, in the cosmic, gamma, x, visible, infra and microwave factions, that lie outside standard expectations for the heliosphere. Magnetic fields and particle flux from the Solar and periodic comets lie within the standard formulation.

 

Mission rationale: Hydri is hypothesized to be an invisible, intangible being, but who nevertheless affects the physical universe in profound, empirical ways. Any being that can accomplish this, even when lacking personal substance, would necessarily employ physical forces that can, in turn, be empirically observed, and documented. Hence even if Hydri lurks in a higher dimension, Hydri’s interaction with the physical universe should be scientifically irrefutable.

 

Captain’s log: Entry #1376 – (1500 Sidereal Hrs, synched to the vernal equinox)

 

Transcription for main bridge commands between the captain and Discovery’s neural nodes, recorded verbatim:

 

Captain: Routine system check up, Discovery. Report.

 

Discovery: ROUTINE SYSTEM CHECK-UP COMPLETED. ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL.

 

Captain: Recheck Visual Train. Set priority at level 4.

 

Discovery: VISUAL TRAIN RECHECKED AT PRIORITY 4. ACUITY SET TO MAXIMUM. ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL.

 

Captain: Initiate new directive. Code-name new directive “Project Hydri”.

 

Discovery: NEW DIRECTIVE INITIATED, CODE-NAMED “PROJECT HYDRI”.

 

Captain: Log in all electromagnetic interference sourced in the spatial cone circumscribed by Discovery, Constellation Lyra, and Alpha Centauri.

 

Discovery: COMMANDS UNDERSTOOD. EMI IN INERTIAL CONE HASH 325.9 INTERCEPTED, TABLED OUT AND DOCUMENTED.

 

Captain: Report on any EMI lying outside standard expectations for Inertial Cone Hash 325.9. Accommodate nominal magnetic and particle flux from known celestial entities.

 

Discovery: COMMANDS UNDERSTOOD. EMI DATA REFILTERED. NO EMI LYING OUTSIDE STANDARD EXPECTATIONS DETECTED.

 

Captain: Roger that, Discovery. Thank you.

 

Captain’s log: Entry #1377 – (1545 Sidereal Hrs, synched to the vernal equinox):

 

Discovery’s data verified as irrefutable by all persons on-bridge: no empirical evidence for Hydri detected. Directive code-named “Project Hydri” concluded.

Food for Thought: Guns and Crosses

Guns and Crosses

Supposing Jesus had walked the earth in the 20th Century, and had faced a firing squad for his execution, instead of being crucified.

Then the gun – instead of the cross – would be the Christian symbol. Churches would be having a machine gun placed prominently everywhere. Christians would hang pistols or revolvers around their necks.

Pastors and priests would often say such things as “Carry your own machine gun” or “Shoulder your own artillery” in church services. There would be mass shootings every Good Friday, especially in the Philippines.

When praying, instead of making the sign of the cross, Catholics would mime pointing an invisible pistol against their temples – ready to blow their brains out. The pope would regularly mime pointing a rifle at the huge congregations. Or an RPG launcher.

Cemeteries would be full of machine and sub-machine guns: Hotchkiss, LSATs, Ultimax, Bizon SMGs, Daewoos, and so on. Huge, rotary cannons would adorn churches spires – M61 Vulcans, GAU-Avengers, and the Gryazev Shipunovs.

Interestingly, all this would be considered normal… and pious. In fact, any criminal bearing a gun would be getting an initial benefit of doubt – he could be a devout Christian, after all. And so it would be, that occasionally, a gun-wielding robber would be proclaiming, loudly, thus:

“I’m not a Christian. I’m a heartless thief. Stick your hands up!”

Chronicles of YHWH 28: A Metastable Figment

????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Angel Gabriel once found YHWH pacing up and down in his library, deep in thoughts. YHWH seemed deeply distracted and anxious.

Gabriel: Lord, is everything alright? You look a bit pale.

YHWH: I’ve just finished reading “The God Delusion” by Richard Dawkins, Gabriel.

Gabriel: And?

YHWH: I feel terrible now. That book raises some pretty disturbing points. I’m now half convinced that I don’t exist in reality.

Gabriel: But I’m talking to you, right now.

YHWH: What if both of us are figment’s of someone else’s imagination? What if we both only exist in the minds of religious people?

Gabriel: That can’t be. You sent your son to the humans sometime ago, and he appeared to them physically.

YHWH: Sometimes I wonder whether that actually happened. What if that too is a false memory by some of the religious people? After all, my so called “son” left no verifiable proof of his existence down there.

Gabriel: There are billions of Christians down there now. They are enough proof that your son really walked on earth.

YHWH: Dawkins states that the human mind is susceptible to memes – ideas that become viral and spread within a population very fast, if left unchecked. Memes can be based on reality, or on fiction. What if we are a fictitious meme – of a particularly contagious nature?

Slight pause.

Gabriel: Surely, there must be a tangible way of verifying our existence, Lord.

YHWH: I can’t think of any. We are invisible, intangible, and our very nature keeps changing, depending on who is describing us. Some Christians describe us as loving and forgiving, while others describe us as militant and vengeful. Gabriel, what are we, really?

Gabriel: Whoa. Let’s try and live apart from the perceptions and thoughts of these human beings. Let’s try and manifest independently of the human mind.

YHWH: I’ve tried that already, Gabriel. And failed. Apparently, we can’t exist outside human minds. This is terrifying.

Long pause.

Gabriel: I need a stiff drink now.

YHWH: Make that two.

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.

Chronicles of YHWH 23: Sense of Humor

Sense of Humor

Non-Religious Person: Up by the meadows, in the Valley of Arcadia, there is a patch of pure mystery and beauty that everyone should visit. It is very rejuvenating.

Religious Person: Yawn. Whatever.

Non-Religious Person: The Valley of Arcadia helps one reconnect with the inner child – and gaze with awe at the raw, breathtaking masterpiece that nature truly is.

Religious Person: Meh. Don’t care.

Non-Religious Person: And after drinking deeply of this vast beauty, it becomes quite hard to believe that such nature was created by the same cruel, vindictive monsters described in the various mainstream “holy books”.

Religious Person (Suddenly attentive): Wait. What?

Non-Religious Person: There is no way that any “gods” described by religious people could have created this beautiful world, with all its awe-inspiring features.

Religious Person: That’s not funny. You are not funny.

Non-Religious Person: I’m not trying to be funny. Just making an observation that should be obvious to anyone who is keen about nature.

Religious Person: Your joke is not funny. I know jokes. Yours is not funny. If your joke was funny, you would see me go “ha ha”. But I’m not going “ha ha”, so your joke is not funny. Even if everyone else in the world laughs at your joke, it is not funny, because I’m not laughing.

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.