Gawd provides fudz

Nothing interesting here. Just wondering, when god told the sons of Israel to take a detour that would take them 40 years to the promised land, he didn’t think they would need food. I don’t remember them making provisions for the journey and if they are walking day and night, where do they good food?

He gives them food 6 days a week and has prohibitions for the 7th day. That is the day of rest for everyone including god so he doesn’t send food. I think he owns a private abattoir, since he provides them with meat and bread where-from only him knows.

Manna from the gods




Songs of praise

I think the sons of Israel had a very bad idea of morals. The song below will show it. How would you praise god for killing fellow human beings and horses?

“I will sing to the Lord, for He is highly exalted;
The horse and its rider He has hurled into the sea.
“The Lord is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation;
This is my God, and I will praise Him;
My father’s God, and I will extol Him.
“The Lord is a warrior;
The Lord is His name.
“Pharaoh’s chariots and his army He has cast into the sea;
And the choicest of his officers are drowned in the Red Sea.
“The deeps cover them;
They went down into the depths like a stone.
“Your right hand, O Lord, is majestic in power,
Your right hand, O Lord, shatters the enemy.
“And in the greatness of Your excellence You overthrow those who rise up against You;
You send forth Your burning anger, and it consumes them as chaff.
“At the blast of Your nostrils the waters were piled up,
The flowing waters stood up like a heap;
The deeps were congealed in the heart of the sea.
“The enemy said, ‘I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil;
My desire shall be gratified against them;
I will draw out my sword, my hand will destroy them.’
10 “You blew with Your wind, the sea covered them;
They sank like lead in the mighty waters.
11 “Who is like You among the gods, O Lord?
Who is like You, majestic in holiness,
Awesome in praises, working wonders?
12 “You stretched out Your right hand,
The earth swallowed them.
13 “In Your loving kindness You have led the people whom You have redeemed;
In Your strength You have guided them to Your holy habitation.
14 “The peoples have heard, they tremble;
Anguish has gripped the inhabitants of Philistia.
15 “Then the chiefs of Edom were dismayed;
The leaders of Moab, trembling grips them;
All the inhabitants of Canaan have melted away.
16 “Terror and dread fall upon them;
By the greatness of Your arm they are motionless as stone;
Until Your people pass over, O Lord,
Until the people pass over whom You have purchased.
17 “You will bring them and plant them in the mountain of Your inheritance,
The place, O Lord, which You have made for Your dwelling,
The sanctuary, O Lord, which Your hands have established.
18 “The Lord shall reign forever and ever.”

If you are the first person at a place, you could be allowed to name it. But why should the sons of Israel claim to name a place that already has a name? Why this expansionist mindset? Somebody tell me what plant this is that when you throw into bitter water it immediately becomes sweet. Someone please 🙂

Here is one of the statutes, many will come

There He made for them a statute and regulation, and there He tested them. 26 And He said, “If you will give earnest heed to the voice of the Lord your God, and do what is right in His sight, and give ear to His commandments, and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have put on the Egyptians; for I, the Lord, am your healer.”

Why 70 date palms? Not 71 not 83? And Twelve springs? I don’t get it besides why had they to count them? Couldn’t they just camp without counting everything on their way?


Murder at sea

For a moment, I had hoped we were done with god hardening pharaoh’s heart, it seems I was really wrong, for it is at it again.

Why would pharaoh act in surprise that the sons of Israel have left if he is the one who let them go?

More absurdities my friends, Moses parts the sea with his staff, the cloud moves behind the sons of Israel to act as a barrier between them the Egyptian army and also to provide them with light in the dark night. Why didn’t Moses leave a manual for parting the sea, I could make use of this power sometime when I want to cross a river. Better still, we could use this power to stop tsunamis from causing  destruction and loss of lives.

Why confuse the Egyptian army after they have decided to turn back and leave the sons of Israel to proceed on their journey? Why this obsession with death? This god of Israel must be the god of death. As my high school principal would say, this god takes pride in mass murder.

Murder en mass

Pillars of fire and cloud

If you are a woman and a first-born, sorry you are not for the lord.

Donkeys too bad, if there are no lambs, all first-born of donkeys will have their necks twisted. By the way, who gets redeemed by a dead donkey?

Why the prohibition on leavened bread, was yeast so expensive?

Somebody tell me, which is the month of Abib.  I don’t see it on my calendar.

Just so you know if you are being led by god, it will take the longest detour instead of the shortest route since he fears war. In day you will have a pillar of cloud before you and a pillar of fire by night. When do these poor people rest?

What is this obsession with death and burial sites? Where did Moses get Joseph’s bones to carry with him when they left Egypt? Were they always kept in his house waiting for the appointed day?

Pillar of fire



Free at last. Free at last!

At last god decided not to harden pharaoh’s heart but not before he kills every firstborn of Egypt including cattle which he had already killed earlier. Now friends, I know I have said this god ain’t all knowing, it is only fair I show you why 13 The blood shall be a sign for you on the houses where you live; and when I see the blood I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you to destroy you when I strike the land of Egypt. Am a bit confused here, when there was darkness over Egypt for 3 days, sons of Israel had light, this can only be possible if they stayed separately. If this is the case, why would they need to mark their doors? The reason, however, why I think this stories contradict chapter after chapter is they had different authors and the audience to whom it is addressed was not a critical one as we are now.

12 Now the Lord said to Moses and Aaron in the land of Egypt, “This month shall be the beginning of months for you; it is to be the first month of the year to you. Which month is this?

On other matters, when Moses is addressing the sons of Israel telling them how to mark their doors so as to be spared when the lord shows up to do murder innocents, are there no Egyptians listening? How could he have a kamkunji/baraza without trouble from pharaoh’s guards and soldiers especially since we are told they were slaves.

We can pass the story of unleavened bread and the prescribed eating style which I find absurd and incredulous if it were an instruction from a all powerful god but from a fearful minion it would be sensible.

We are told the sons of Israel lived in Egypt 430 years, I will need help tracing this period. From the verses we have read to this point, it simply doesn’t add up.

And finally one of the many crazy religious laws

43 The Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “This is the ordinance of the Passover: no foreigner is to eat of it; 44 but every man’s slave purchased with money, after you have circumcised him, then he may eat of it. 45 A sojourner or a hired servant shall not eat of it. 46 It is to be eaten in a single house; you are not to bring forth any of the flesh outside of the house, nor are you to break any bone of it.47 All the congregation of Israel are to celebrate this. 


Let my people go

Moses has gone to see the pharaoh to ask for the peeps to be let go a three-day journey to make sacrifices to their god. As you’d expect if pharaoh doesn’t buy it and to show his displeasure orders that the Israelites be given more work for he feels they have become many and are now a lazy lot that is why they want to go and pray, don’t you just like this guy 🙂

The people of Israel aren’t amused either and go to Moses and this is what they tell him …21 They said to them, “May the Lord look upon you and judge you, for you have made us odious in Pharaoh’s sight and in the sight of his servants, to put a sword in their hand to kill us.” And who can blame them? If Moses hadn’t talked to burning bushes, they would be alright now, their work has been increased and the conditions just became worse.

Moses can’t take the blame himself so he goes back to the source of all this and says…. 22 Then Moses returned to the Lord and said, “O Lord, why have You brought harm to this people? Why did You ever send me? 23 Ever since I came to Pharaoh to speak in Your name, he has done harm to this people, and You have not delivered Your people at all.” Let us see how he responds.

Was god willing but unable to convince the pharaoh to release the sons of Israel without having to resort to punishment, death and mystery?



More absurdities

In the last chapter, we had Moses talking to a burning bush and his commission to go to the pharaoh and order him to release the Israelites or are they Levites, I don’t know. Moses develops cold feet. He thinks and rightly so, that no one is going to believe him so he needs some signs from YHWH.  I ask myself, for the last 2k years we have been asking god to show up he doesn’t but he could show up for Moses. What does he take us for?

YHWH tells Moses to throw his stuff to the ground and put his hand in the bosom, I guess you know what happened after that. Moses though has something up his sleeve, he tells god, he has a heavy mouth and as you would expect, god tells him as maker of man’s mouth, he will be with his mouth. Again for those who are blind or deaf, they really have a case against god. He says he makes them blind, mute and deaf! God ain’t amused and makes Aaron Moses’ spokesperson, wouldn’t it have been easier for him just to make Moses eloquent, if this is impotent, then I don’t want to be.

It is worth repeating that this god is suicidal, he hardens pharaoh’s heart so he can kill the Egyptian first-born sons as a sign of greatness, what greatness I wonder! Let it not pass you, god wants to kill Moses on the way so Zipporah, his wife, circumcised their son threw the foreskin at Moses feet and the lord let them go. I think this god has an obsession with murder and foreskin of young males!

The duo, Moses and brother meet the elders and perform the signs before the people and I think for the first time since he ran away, the people bow to worship. I kinda like these guys, if god ain’t doing anything for them, no worship!




Exodus 1

Israel Multiplies in Egypt

I hope you have kept it here and have not forgotten where we stopped at the end of Genesis. We close Genesis with the deaths of Jacob and Joseph with his brothers left living in Goshen.

Before we get into the book of Exodus, let us first hear what the Catholics have to say about it. Exodus, they say is from the Greek word exodos which means departure which is the main theme of the book. They continue to say, this is where they are quite honest, the church adopted the traditional Jewish view that Moses wrote the 5 books. This, they say, is not so much a statement of authorship as a religious affirmation that the book derives its authority from the work of Moses. They continue to say Moses cannot be conceived as the author of those books.

Exodus starts by listing the sons of Jacob who came to Egypt with him. You may be a little confused here;

1 Now these are the names of the sons of Israel who came to Egypt with Jacob; they came each one with his household……….

Israel here does not refer to a people but to Jacob. It gets absurd from here, at verse 6, we are told Joseph died and his brothers and all that generation but the sons of Israel were fruitful and increased greatly. How can this be? Who are these called Israel if the whole generation has passed on?

In verse 8, we are told a king arose in Egypt who did not know Joseph and feared their numbers and passed decrees to have them enslaved, treated harshly and ordered 2 midwives whom he later builds houses for to kill every male child. How could this one family give birth to threaten a whole kingdom? After being defied by two Hebrew midwives, the Pharaoh calls on all of Egypt to cast every son born to the Hebrews in the Nile River. I don’t know about you, but if I was king and my intention was to kill male babies and a midwife disobeyed that order, that would be her last day especially listening to the excuse they give!

This aside, however, why would a king be threatened by small male babies born to his slaves as we are told they were? There are better ways to deal with the population than killing male babies, don’t you think so. Why not just have all their women married by the Egyptians besides it is just one family and in a few years there would be none left who even remembers they were Hebrews to begin with. Unless there something we are missing?