Chronicles of YHWH 27: Chain Reaction

YHWH: Lucifer?

Lucifer: Speaking.

YHWH: What’s that bluish glow I’m seeing in hell?

Lucifer: Radioactive cores. Uranium and Plutonium.

YHWH: What are radioactive cores doing in hell?

Lucifer: I run out of sulphur and brimstone a while back. Too many sinners trooping in. Besides, the radioactive cores create a much hotter flame. And they can last for much, much longer.

YHWH: Ah, interesting. Good thinking. How many sinners are you barbecuing, currently?

Lucifer: Almost five billions. The atheists, the Muslims, the Rastafarians, the Hindus and Buddhists, the Communists, and the Pope. I hear that some evangelical Christians are also on the way.

YHWH: Yeah. Some of them were wearing linen underwear, against my orders. Who wears linen against the skin, anyway? Creeps.

Lucifer: One impending problem, though.

YHWH: Yes?

Lucifer: The increasingly higher amounts of radioactive material needed might soon reach a critical mass, and detonate in a massive explosion. Hell will be no more.

YHWH: That’s fine. I’ll move heaven further away.

Lucifer: Oh. Alright then.

YHWH: Just ensure that those Christians wearing linen pants are nearest the cores when the explosion happens.

Lucifer: Uh, alright. Will do.

 

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.

In defense of the Devil

The devil get’s a bad rap in the bible. A number of people have in the past tried to repair his CV and present it in a way that so resembles the truth as is humanly possible especially given the spurious nature of the writings.

I will just mention a few incidences where the devil/ Satan should really have been praised instead of demonized.

In Genesis, the serpent/ Stan tells the first family a truth, that they will not die for eating the fruit. The curious thing about the admonition they would die is that the couple had no idea what to die meant.

Several instances in the new testament, the devil/ Satan declares that Jesus is the messiah when he, Jesus, doesn’t want this known.

Am tired and will stop here.

There should be a day for the devil 😛

Two questions

Or maybe just one.
Who was William Shakespeare or rather who wrote the plays attributed to Shakespeare?
A bonus question; since Dante’s time has the Satan’s CV been rewritten? Could we update it?

8 Ways Satan Convinces You To Question Your Salvation

Ladies, don’t listen to him, that is the devil himself

There are gems, then there are gems and this is in the second class. And since yours truly believes that sharing is living, I want you my friends to be able to tell when Satan convinces you to question your [non] belief. Have a good laugh friends.

8 Ways Satan Convinces You To Question Your Salvation