Moses once saw a burning bush in the desert. And Lo, the bush spake to him:
Burning Bush: Moses, come hither. Remove your sandals.
Moses: Hello there, weird burning bush. I’ve never seen a talking bush before.
Burning Bush: I’m not a burning bush. I am YHWH, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Moses: You look like a burning bush.
Burning Bush: The bush is an accessory. A visual prop, if you will. I’m actually the flames in the bush. It’s all magical. That’s why I’m not consuming the leaves of the bush.
Moses: So why are you hiding in the bush, if the bush is not part of you?
Burning Bush: Sigh. You are not getting the theatrical dimension to all this, clearly. I’m not hiding in the bush. The bush is like a costume. It’s all purely conventional.
Moses: So the bush is to you what my robes and sandals are to me?
Burning Bush: More or less. Now to the point of my visit. There are some Jews I’d like you to free from Egypt…
Moses: Wait. Are you telling me that you are wearing a bush, and that without it, you would be naked?
Burning Bush: Ostensibly. Look, it doesn’t really matter. Now these Jews…
Moses (Averting his eyes): I can’t bear to look at the burning flames now. It feels… indecent.
Burning Bush (Roaring): MOSES! FOCUS! I’M NOT NAKED!!!
N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.
