Genesis 19

The Doom of Sodom
19 Now the two angels[in the previous chapter they were three, where has god gone to?] came to Sodom in the evening as Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom[I see they had gated communities or else why would there be a gate]. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2 And he said, “Now behold, my lords, please turn aside into your servant’s house, and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you may rise early and go on your way.” They said however, “No, but we shall spend the night in the square [this were the best times to live, you could offer accommodation to the gods or his angels. 2000 yrs later none of them has bothered to show up again! What went wrong?] .” 3 Yet he urged them strongly, so they turned aside to him and entered his house; and he prepared a feast for them, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate[ Did we stop baking enough bread? I see they loved bread].

Before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, surrounded the house, both young and old, all the people from every quarter[How did they know Lot had heavenly visitors? We have Lot meeting them at the city gates, they have a discussion and go to his house! Was Sodom so a small town or hamlet that everyone knew everyone or how do you explain every man coming to Lot’s house! And is there a drought of women in this hamlet? Something here doesn’t seem right] ; and they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have relations with them[ I thought they still lived in tents? have they started building permanent houses? Some enlighten me. If they are living in a tent, it’s easier just to tear down the tent. I don’t find it plausible that even young men, under 18s, would have gone with their fathers and grandfathers just to have sex with two angels. And they must be female angels or else all the entire of Sodom is gay! Is there a different explanation out there] .”

But Lot went out to them at the doorway, and shut the door behind him, and said, “Please, my brothers, do not act wickedly. Now behold, I have two daughters who have not had relations with man; please let me bring them out to you, and do to them whatever you like[ what type of parent is Lot. How do you give your virgin daughters to be gang raped? Are his daughters listening?]; only do nothing to these men, in as much as they have come under the shelter of my roof.”

But they said, “Stand aside.” Furthermore, they said, “This one came in as an alien, and already he is acting like a judge; now we will treat you worse than them.” So they pressed hard against Lot and came near to break the door[as a writer of fiction, this scribe sucks, how strong is Lot and how many people are outside his door? Unless he had security doors by MultiLock installed in his house, but the men could just have taken the keys from him]. 10 But the men reached out their hands and brought Lot into the house with them, and shut the door. 11 They struck the men who  were at the doorway of the house with blindness, both small and great, so that they wearied themselves trying to find the doorway[all able bodied men have just been struck blind, and the scribe tells us here they wearied themselves trying to find the door, this is absurd. They were standing at the door, how then would they weary trying to get it unless the angels or switched the location of the door to the back of the house or to the roof!].

12 Then the two men said to Lot, “Whom else have you here? A son-in-law, and your sons, and your daughters, and whomever you have in the city, bring them out of the place; 13 for we are about to destroy this place, because their outcry has become so great before the Lord that the Lord has sent us to destroy it.” 14 Lot went out[this must be a joke! The men who had wanted to know the angels haven’t left yet and Lot has walked out to his sons houses? By the way since all the men of the town were at his door, were his sons also there? That being the case, apart from Lot, every other male is now blind and even his sons will not be able to pack] and spoke to his sons-in-law[arranged marriages?], who were to marry his daughters, and said, “Up, get out of this place, for the Lord will destroy the city.” But he appeared to his sons-in-law to be jesting.

15 When morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, “Up, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away in the punishment of the city.” 16 But he hesitated. So the men seized his hand and the hand of his wife and the hands of his two daughters, for the compassion of the Lord was upon him; and they brought him out, and put him outside the city[ How far out of the city has the family been taken? They are not horse back or camels!]. 17 When they had brought them outside, one said, “Escape for your life! Do not look behind you, and do not stay anywhere in the valley; escape to the mountains, or you will be swept away[In a future geography lesson we will look at maps of the area and see just how far the chosen family would have gone].” 18 But Lot said to them, “Oh no, my lords!

19 Now behold, your servant has found favor in your sight, and you have magnified your loving kindness, which you have shown me by saving my life; but I cannot escape to the mountains, for the disaster will overtake me and I will die[how does Lot know this? or is he suggesting that the angels of the Lord are wrong to live him by the gates of the city or can we say that the scribe writing this part has witnessed a volcanic eruption before and knows that volcanic waste travel large distances? You can add to the possibility of questions]; 20 now behold, this town is near enough to flee to, and it is small. Please, let me escape there (is it not small?) that my life may be saved.” 21 He said to him, “Behold, I grant you this request also, not to overthrow the town[did the angels have other ideas?] of which you have spoken. 22 Hurry, escape there, for I cannot do anything until you arrive there.” Therefore the name of the town was called Zoar [ am tired at the moment but I promise to get you the location of Zoar soon] .

23 The sun had risen over the earth when Lot came to Zoar. 24 Then the Lord rained on Sodom and Gomorrah

Destruction of Sodom

brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven, 25 and He overthrew those cities, and all the valley, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and what grew on the ground. 26 But his wife, from behind him, looked back, and she became a pillar of salt[ for all intents and purposes, her sons have just been left behind, her friends, her family, what is the crime in looking behind? How bad is this Lot’s god?].

27 Now Abraham arose early in the morning and went to the place where he had stood before the Lord; 28 and he looked down toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the valley, and he saw, and behold, the smoke of the land ascended like the smoke of a furnace[Abraham must have witnessed an earthquake, but how far does he live from Sodom? He must have slept through the entire eruption!].

29 Thus it came about, when God destroyed the cities of the valley, that God remembered[ I have said elsewhere, this god has defective memory] Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when He overthrew the cities in which Lot lived.

Lot Is Debased

30 Lot went up from Zoar, and stayed in the mountains[why did he have to retreat from the city to the mountains unless something is cooking!], and his two daughters with him; for he was afraid to stay in Zoar; and he stayed in a cave, he and his two daughters. 31 Then the firstborn said to the younger[ what is so hard in giving the two ladies names if they have such a central role to play? Unless you convince me otherwise, the god who inspired this scribe doesn’t have a place for women], “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of the earth[Now if I may, they just left a town to live in the mountains, why not head there?]. 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and let us lie with him that we may preserve our family through our father.” 33 So they made their father drink wine that night

Lot sleeps with his daughters

, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 34 On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father.” 35 So they made their father drink wine that night also, and the younger arose and lay with him; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose[Wait a minute, how drunk was the old dude? I see no reason why Lot’s family was spared if the crime of the other city dwellers included drunkenness and debauchery among others. Any dissenting opinions allowed]. 36 Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father. 37 The firstborn bore a son, and called his name Moab; he is the father of the Moabites to this day. 38 As for the younger, she also bore a son, and called his name Ben-ammi; he is the father of the sons of Ammon to this day[ On a more serious matter, St Paul writing to Timothy lists 4 things that scripture is to be used for, could someone please be kind enough to tell me where the 4 if any fall in this story of Lot and his daughters! I will wait].

 

 

Advertisements

Genesis 18

Birth of Isaac Promised

18 Now the Lord appeared to him by the oaks of Mamre, while he was sitting at the tent door in the heat of the day. When he lifted up his eyes and looked, behold, three men[did God come with his brothers or he has guards?] were standing opposite him; and when he saw them, he ran from the tent door to meet them and bowed himself to the earth, and said, “My Lord, if now I have found favor in Your sight, please do not pass Your servant by[since they are three dudes, who is his Lord? How do we tell one from the other].

Good old Abe welcoming his God. He must be one of the three!

Please let a little water be brought and wash your feet[the god of Abe must have dirtied his legs walking in the dust or why else would he be offered water to clean his feet], and rest yourselves under the tree[and he gets tired, must need rest, unless Abe doesn’t know his God is all powerful]; and I will bring a piece of bread[he eats bread, so must suffer hunger like us or why would Abe offer food?], that you may refresh yourselves; after that you may go on, since you have visited your servant.” And they said, “So do, as you have said[they have all agreed to food, water to wash their feet, don’t you just like Abe’s God. Could this be the source of the trinity? ].” So Abraham hurried into the tent to Sarah, and said, “Quickly, prepare three measures of fine flour, knead it and make bread cakes[how long if I may does it take to bake bread or was Sarai expecting the guests? Some help here!].”

Abraham also ran to the herd, and took a tender and choice calf and gave it to the servant, and he hurried to prepare it[so the gods also love choice meat!]. He took curds and milk and the calf which he had prepared, and placed it before them; and he was standing by them under the tree as they ate[they must have been really hungry to wait for bread to be baked and a choice calf be chosen, slaughtered and BBQed].

Then they said to him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And he said, “There, in the tent.” 10 He said[Am confused here, they asked, he said; how many Gods are speaking or is this particular verse written by two competing scribes?], “I will surely return to you at this time next year; and behold, Sarah your wife will have a son.” And Sarah was listening at the tent door, which was behind him. 11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old, advanced in age; Sarah was past childbearing.

12 Sarah laughed to herself, saying, “After I have become old, shall I have pleasure[It seems to me Sarah have given up on this acts and know that with her advanced age there is no point], my lord being old also[and that old Abe will be shooting pool with a rope]?” 13 And the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh, saying, ‘Shall I indeed bear a child, when I am so old?’ [Doesn’t this lord know that their suggestion is an odd one? or are we having a miracle in the making?14 Is anything too difficult for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, at this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.” 15 Sarah denied it however, saying, “I did not laugh”; for she was afraid. And He said, “No, but you did laugh.”[I like the exchange between Abe, Sarah and the gods. Sarah finds their suggestion preposterous.]

16 Then the men rose up from there, and looked down toward Sodom; and Abraham was walking with them to send them off. 17 The Lord said[ As i have said, I am going to need help here, is Abraham’s God a man, 3 men or what? I don’t get it!], “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do[ do I see a guilty conscience from the good Lord?], 18 since Abraham will surely become a great and mighty nation, and in him all the nations of the earth will be blessed[ Is Abe’s God planning another destruction of humanity. He does have this ruminations when he is about to do something of this kind]?

19 For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.” 20 And the Lord said, “The outcry of Sodom and Gomorrah is indeed great, and their sin is exceedingly grave. 21 I will go down now, and see if they have done entirely according to its outcry, which has come to Me; and if not, I will know[ For the upteenth time, should someone say in my face their God is all knowing, they will have to explain this passage here].”

22 Then the men turned away from there and went toward Sodom, while Abraham was still standing before the Lord. 23 Abraham came near and said, “Will You indeed sweep away the righteous with the wicked[here it seems to me Abe is more rational than his God or why is he having this discussion? What does this say about Abe’s God?]? 24 Suppose there are fifty righteous within the city; will You indeed sweep it away and not spare the place for the sake of the fifty righteous who are in it[ I think I would really want to have a discussion with this God. I have a few of my questions too!]?

v25 to 33 is an exchange between Abe and his God on what it would take him not to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah and it’s inhabitants. In all honesty, this discussion shouldn’t have been had in the first place. The omniscient God should have a better way of plucking those he thinks are wicked without causing destruction or killing innocents. You are free to disagree, but then you will have to give me a reason to believe your God on his merits!

Genesis 13

Abram and Lot

13 So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, he and his wife and all that belonged to him, and Lot with him.

Now Abram was very rich in livestock, in silver and in gold[proceeds from pimping].He went on his journeys from the Negev as far as Bethel, to the place where his tent had been at the beginning, between Bethel and Ai, to the place of the altar which he had made there formerly; and there Abram called on the name of the Lord.

Now Lot, who went with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. And the land could not sustain them while dwelling together, for their possessions were so great that they were not able to remain together

Lot and his flock

 And there was strife between the herdsmen of Abram’s livestock and the herdsmen of Lot’s livestock. Now the Canaanite and the Perizzite were dwelling then in the land[ family strife between father of faith and his nephew? Couldn’t they just find a way to live in peace or is there something we are not being told].

 So Abram said to Lot, “Please let there be no strife between you and me, nor between my herdsmen and your herdsmen, for we are brothers[how much livestock and slaves did these two families own to the point they could not stay together amicably?]. Is not the whole land before you? Please separate from me; if to the left, then I will go to the right; or if to the right, then I will go to the left.” 10 Lot lifted up his eyes and saw all the  valley of the Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere—this was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah—like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt as you go to Zoar. 11 So Lot chose for himself all the valley of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they separated from each other. 12 Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled in the cities of the valley, and moved his tents as far as Sodom. 13 Now the men of Sodom were wicked exceedingly and sinners against the Lord [Now lets pose a while. A few chapters back every living thing was destroyed in a flood from most high, so where do the wicked people in Sodom come from? Every one on earth at this point in time is Noah’s descendant. Unless there are people who survived the flood or there were other people in existence not of Noah’s ancestry!]

14 The Lord said to Abram, after Lot had separated from him, “ Now lift up your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward; 15  for all the land which you see, I will give it to you and to your descendants forever[why wait for Lot to leave? Does this God have preferential treatment? Is he just Abram’s God alone or is it the God of everyone?]. 16 I will make your descendants as the dust of the earth, so that if anyone can number the dust of the earth, then your descendants can also be numbered[ where will all this people stand?]. 17 Arise, walk about the land through its length and breadth; for I will give it to you.” 18 Then Abram moved his tent and came and dwelt by the  oaks of Mamre, which are in Hebron, and there he built an altar to the Lord [Enough said, but just a thought, what material were they using to make their tents?].