Chronicles of YHWH 34: SwineGate – The Untold Story

Swine Gate

After Yeshua cast out the demons and sent them to the pigs, the pigs run into the sea, and drowned. A very upset man then run up to where Yeshua was, and the following conversation ensued:

 

Man: Those were my pigs, magic man. I want my pigs back.

Yeshua: Sorry man, but your pigs have all just died.

Man: You’ve just destroyed my entire life’s work. I have no earthly possessions now.

Yeshua: Look at it this way: there are unlimited treasures waiting for you in heaven. Just be patient and kind while on earth, and you’ll get your own mansion in heaven.

Man: I don’t care about riches beyond the grave, magic man! I want my pigs NOW! Bring them back!

Yeshua: No can do. The deed is done. Besides, even if I brought the pigs back, they would all be full of the demons I’ve just cast into them. You wouldn’t like them.

Man: Why did you cast the demons into the pigs, instead of sending them straight to hell? Why have you impoverished me like this?

Yeshua: The demons requested me to cast them into the pigs.

Man: But why did you oblige them in that request? Why did you value the needs of the demons over my own needs, as the owner of the pigs?

Yeshua: I’ve just told you: there’s a fabulous mansion waiting for you in heaven. Forget about the damn pigs!

Man: I want my pigs back! I want my pigs back!

Yeshua (To his disciples): Peter, Bartholomew, Simon: get this heathen away from my face.

N/B: For access to all anecdotes in this series, check out List of all “Chronicles of YHWH” notes.