On homosexuality as abomination (Leviticus 18:22)


This piece below is not my own work but I couldn’t help but share it. It is what we call brilliant.

Laura Schlesinger a radio host who herself waxes and wanes in and out of Orthodox Judaism. “Agnosticism is to orthodoxy what a wild bull is to a China shop.” This letter is a testament to the above statement.
In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.
The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It’s funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination … End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them.
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?
Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia (It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian)

About makagutu

As Onyango Makagutu I am Kenyan, as far as I am a man, I am a citizen of the world

70 thoughts on “On homosexuality as abomination (Leviticus 18:22)

  1. ladysighs says:

    Dear Mak,

    It is an abomination that you are not brilliant enough to write this piece. You must try harder. But you do the next best thing … finding and sharing these gems for your readers who are too lazy to look for them themselves.

    Love,
    lady (your faithful slave)

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Arkenaten says:

    If it turns out we can own Canadians, I’m going to ask if I can own a Kenyan. I quite like the idea of new and extensive renovations to my house, but at present can’t afford to pay an architect or a builder.
    Owning a Kenyan would at least help me out.
    ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 6 people

  3. I own one of several forts along the coasts of West Africa, with a dungeon at the basement. It would be nice to own two prime and healthy French slave girls and keep them there for my own relaxation and enjoyment. I prefer those specimens that are exactly ripe – about sixteen years old. And another slave – a French man about forty, to wash my feet everyday, grind tobacco and run errands for me, my children and grand children. I will be kind enough to pay $10 for all three and I promise not to mistreat them except if they refuse to convert to African religion. Does anyone know where I can buy these?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Ubi Dubium says:

    This got used in the script for an episode of “The West Wing”:

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Terrific letter. Love it! My kinda thing! Now, I’d better go let my Canadian slaves go free. I wasn’t aware I wasn’t suppose to have them.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I’m Canadian, & ya gotta catch me first!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. that letter is a classic. And oh do Christians hate to be shown it. They insist that they don’t have to follow those ol’ nasty laws by their god, though they want those laws in every public building.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Nan says:

    Ahhhh yes! Cherry-picking — one of the more favored past-times of believers.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. judyt54 says:

    quick question on slave ownership: if you are allowed Canadian slaves does that include half-Canadians too? I am half Canadian and half Dutch/Scots; which half goes?

    Like

  10. Arkenaten says:

    Mak: Looks like you are being spammed by someone called Nyakio.

    Like

    • makagutu says:

      I noticed.
      I hope whoever they are have run out of data

      Liked by 1 person

      • Arkenaten says:

        If people like this are trying to attract a readership then someone should teach them marketing techniques.
        Spamming in this fashion just makes me want to carpet-bomb their site with viruses.

        Like

        • makagutu says:

          It’s annoying.
          It’s like new readers who arrive on your site and think they are the best thing to happen to wordpress and leave links to their blogs so you can visit. If my prowess in making viruses was as good as my ability to throw insults, I would flood them with viruses and spam

          Like

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